Engagement

[4getmenot]

When you got engaged was it to get married? I know a very strange question as I always thought thats what engagement was about. My mate said a while back what she wanted for her birthday was an engagement ring and I just had a message saying 'guess who's engaged' I replied with 'Ooh congrats, when you getting married?' She replied with 'slow down just coz we engaged we aint getting married just yet' Now to me engaged means to get married, maybe not straight away but at least start planning or whats the point of the engagement. What does everyone else think?

[China Doll]

Mmmmm... Essentially I'd agree with you but I think these credit crunch days engagement can also show an intention to get married in the future. I think the meaning has changed slghtly over time as marriage itself becomes not so important.

[4getmenot]

But seems to me its not even an intention behind it as she kind of hinted for him to ask her. Poodicat congrats to your son well at least they know when, my mate isnt even thinking about wedding she just said she is happy at the moment with the engagement and wants to enjoy that

[4getmenot]

and china if you're in a loving trusting relationship surely thats enough

[Marijn]

It does seem weird these days. Someone asks their girlfriend/boyfriend. Shall we get engaged? and the other says Yes.
What it should be is . . ."Shall we get married" and then if the answer is yes, . . then they are engaged, ring or no ring.
"Engaged to be married" is what it's supposed to be.
Engagement is not a separate entity.

[sara3]

when my ex (I should've seen that coming!) suggested we got engaged I was very excited. we went out, bought a ring, had a party.. a few months later I said, "so what about a wedding?" he said, "wedding? I just thought we could get engaged."

the ring came off and that was that.

okay, so eventually we got married. and eventually we got divorced!

[hc4361]

Long engagements used to be very common. It signalled you were committed to each other, and stopped dating other people. It was time to save for a deposit for your home, whether bought or rented, and the bottom drawer.
Parents were more relaxed about an engaged couple spending time alone than they would have been with just a boyfriend or girlfriend and they were formally recognised as a couple for family functions and work socials.
Far better to have a long engagement than a long drawn out divorce.

[4getmenot]

but surely people are moved in together now and times have changed. I just feel people get engaged as some gimmick more than a commitment thing

[China Doll]

Depends on the relationship 4get, some people want a sign of committment without marriage, an engagement ring could be a sign of that, as could buying a house... horses and course and all that.

[sara3]

or an excuse for a party? presents? or to prop up an ailing relationship?

did I get sympathy stars? ;o)

[caththecrazy]

My hubby asked me to marry him - when I said yes he bought the ring and we had a party. Had a fairly long engagement as I wanted to finish my degree before we got married.

[4getmenot]

No your post just made me laugh :-) Oh yer exactly china each to their own :-) I just know when and if i get engaged I'll be pushing for the wedding date and I know my bloke is committed wthout having a ring :-)

[4getmenot]

but without the ring would it have been different cath? what difference did it make to you or your relationship?

[MWB]

When my brother asked his wife to marry him & she said yes, he then said lets do it in a couple of months. She asked why so soon.

He said he wanted to be married to her, not engaged to her.

Nice, eh?

[4getmenot]

that lovely, that is what its about

[redcrx]

i got engaged quite young (you may remember), it took 2 years to get house and then a further 3 years to get married.

the enagement was a sign that we would marry.