Stuck in the middle

[clipclop1]

Im in a serious relationship with my fantastic boyfriend, we're in a long distance relationship and plan to get our own place in a few months... then theres my best friend who lives some distance away but we're in contact all the time.... my boyfriend has taken an instant dislike to her and cant say anything nice about her... he's met her once when she was drunk and has formed an opinion on her and wont change it. She's not aware of how he feels and is always asking how he is and how we're getting on etc... should i tell her? Iv tried talking to him and saying that if it were the other way around he'd hate it too but he just turns into a typical bloke and deliberately says the opposite of whatever point/argument i try to make... how would you deal with this situation...?

[bednobs]

should you tell her what? You ask if you should tell her how he is and how you are getting on ... well i don't see why not!

[4getmenot]

well see her without him then, surely you can go out on nights without him. That was he doesnt have to see someone he doesnt like. Say you like her you are going out he is welcome to come, if he then says he doesnt want to thats his choice.

[sara3]

you're thinking about telling her he doesn't like her? I wouldn't bother. your boyfriend should be prepared to meet her again and respect your opinion that she is a nice person. if he still doesn't like her he's probably jealous of your friendship and insecure. silly man.

[Charisse2]

Sadly, you cannot automatically assume that all of your friends will get on with each other. Invite your best friend out for a meal or to the cinema and see if they can find a common interest. If not, accept it and do not force the issue.

[Charisse2]

I should have said invite your best friend and boyfriend out. Preview button please!

[redcrx]

if you tell your best friend that your fella doesnt like her what will happen if he gives her another chance and realises he was wrong?
dont tell her anything

[society]

he's taken an instant dislike for here + she's always asking about him = they hot for each other. :-)

[Old_Geezer]

How have you formed the opinion that a typical bloke deliberately says the opposite of whatever point/argument you ? Have you not met many blokes, or are you missing the fact that there wouldn't be an argument if the person you were arguing with was in agreement with you ?


Your boyfriend is entitled to hold his own opinions, and that includes how he feels about other people you know. There is give and take in a relationship, but it ought not go as far as dictating how one's partner feels. I appreciate that forming an opinion from one meeting may seem a bit unfair, but first impressions are important. If, as I suspect, you have expressed the opinion that he is being unreasonable and should get to know her better before dismissing her, then that is as much as you can do and should leave it there.

I trust he doesn't keep bringing the subject of your friend up ?

As for what to tell her when you meet, I don't see it serves any purpose to make your friend aware of his animosity. It would just make her feel bad. And besides he may change his opinion in future, or he may avoid her and so not cause further friction anyway. Even if they do meet in the future, the onus on him is to remain polite.

Answer your friend's question truthfully but noncommittally; it is surely the diplomatic way to go.

[Neenee]

sounds like gavin and stacey!