cant sleep for thinking of her!

[DPSA]

I moved to London about 2 months ago and im having trouble sleeping at night. I went home for Christmas and when i came back i was sleeping fine, now everytime i go to bed i lay there and all these thoughts about my ex girlfriend stop me from sleeping. This has been happening for about a week and its driving me mad!! I just lay there thinking about the past and things we did together and then start to wonder how she is and what shes upto. I thought i was over her and hadn't thought about her for ages.

i havent had contact with her in over a month and we've been apart for nearly 6 months. why now? and why is it only when im trying to sleep? Is it a sign im not over her or just that i miss her company or company in general?

[dizmouk2009]

I suffer from the same problem. You will find that it only happens when you are about to go to sleep because you aren't doing anything physical (something to take your mind off it), you're mind is wandering - this is why in my case. It could mean anything, it could be that you miss the stuff you did because you enjoyed it or it could mean you miss her. Only you can answer that question... Sometimes when I get lonely I think about the good times and feel upset but I don't think I still have feelings for that person. It's a common question but I'm afraid the answer isn't straight forward. Did you break up with her or visa versa?

[DPSA]

she broke up with me, she has a new boyfriend now and im happy thats shes happy. i havent spoken to her in awhile so i really dont know why ive started thinking about her now. i dont know whats triggered it but its driving me mad!!

[dizmouk2009]

Do you feel lonely? that is usually something that triggers these sort of feelings. Sometimes people can get depressed and use memories like this to punish themselves even more. I suppose the key to this not happening is trying to ensure you're occupied and don't have time to spiral into those thoughts at bed time. It's not uncommon to think about people that you have special times with, I still think about one of my ex's, I've not been in a relationship with her for over 4 years now. All you can do is move on and try and look forward but never forget the memories - just don't dwell on them.

Sorry I couldn't really help you. As a bloke I suppose I should be telling you to go out and get drunk; worked for me for a while lol :/

[DPSA]

the going out and getting drunk is how i got over her. its only been happening a week but i have been doing less in that week, ive just stopped drinking so im not going to the pub everyday which means that im spending a lot of time alone (just moved to london 2 months ago and the only people i know here are my ex and my best friend) ive become friends with the barman it the pub which is the only reason i go there.

i dont make friends easy but figured moving here i would have to try, which is something i wouldn't normally do. im enjoying it but starting to get a little lonely which could be the reason as all my good memories of being in london are with her. maybe i need to expand my daily activies to meet new people or just call her and see how she is and hope it helps

[dizmouk2009]

Calling her and asking how she is won't help you, I can't only speak from experience there though. Obviously I, nor anyone else knows you and can't possible know what ringing her would do to your but I doubt it will make you feel better. As I said originally I though it was loneliness which, is awful especially when you've not been lonely all your life. People saying getting drunk doesn't help, technically it doesn't although it does help you fall asleep before your head has hit the pillow.

[DPSA]

you're right calling her wont help. if i really wanted to know i think i would be thinking about her during the day as well.
drink does help but ive just stopped which is probably why ive strated thinking. ive found that not sleeping at all and being so tired the next day that as soon as you hit the bed you're asleep is working quite well

[TTG]

Maybe she is thinking of you as well. Best to hear it from the "horses mouth" as the saying goes. Call and ask how she is but don't hint you have been thinking about her! Just try and get some vibes as to how things are going. Don't build your hopes up though....6 months is a long time.

[tamborine]

Did you have a physical relationship with the ex? Is that what you're missing?

Drink wont solve your sleep problem......stay on the pc or tv till you tire; sometimes a full stomach brings on sleep.