Do i allow time out again?

[OLIVIA26]

i've been seeing this chap for approx 15 months (hes 40 im 33) we've had our major ups and downs, basically caused by him wanting me but having added complications in his life. When i met him he lived on his own, then for 2 months last year he stopped contacting me. After a long struggle on his behalf to woo me back he did so, on the promise that he loved and wanted to be a family with me and my little girl. Me like the softie i am took him back. Now he lives with his 16 yr old daughter and has now decided he wants to bond with his estranged 13yr old lad (i totally approve) but it seems like i've been pushed aside again. I have now ended the relationship to allow him the freedom to get to know his son again. I know as a mature adult we love our children and there comes a time when we as parents require a little something for us ie a relationship, intimacy etc.He says he wants no-one else. Do you think he's likely to do the same, get bored of bonding and try and hook up with me again? and if so how do i resist? we ended amicably both admitting we still loved each other but my heart can only take so many knocks. Where can i find the strength to finally move on and stop waiting for him?

[4getmenot]

you ended it with him so why cant you stop waiting for him? If you cant move on then get back with him. seemples

[onlyme26]

hiya,

i can understand that you feel pushed out by him wanting to spend more time with his kids, but he cant spend 24/7 with them, there should still be room for him to have a relationship with you, if anything surely it will help, it cant be easy bonding with an estranged child at the best of times, if you love him so much maybe just give him another go, but step back slightly while he finds his feet with his kids, i mean there is no reason for you to totally break up is there???

[OLIVIA26]

hiya onlyme26, I understand what you're saying, but if i were to remain with him i'd only be waiting for the next drama to surface and again i'd have to take a back seat. Every 2 or 3 months, when he knows hes got me 'just there' there will be a reason for him to pursue something else in his words 'for the sake of his conscience' all my family and friends think its the best decision i've made, but they're just supporting me aren't they? I guess if we are really meant to be together then i'll have to let nature take its course, but in the meantime try and enjoy my life for my little girl's sake.thankyou for your ans ;)

[happyone2]

Ive just watched the DVD "hes just not into you enough............." and i think it could easily apply here...

He likes you possibly loves you as much as he is able, but he doesnt love you enough to involve you in his life totally - he finds excuses to exclude you, things that if he really really wanted to he could overcome.

i feel he is playing mind games with you, he senses your need ( possilby your own deeper love ) and is in fact using it to keep you close, but not that close.

If you can feel sorry for him for his inability to have a mature adult relationship you might well be able to put this in perspective................... there is nothing you can do - be a better gfr, a better lover, a better friend.........................., because he has control of the relationship not you and he doesnt want it enough.. He asks you to jump and you appear to ask "how high?"

See it for what it is...............he doesnt like you enough...............