What would you do if your going out with someone but like someone else?

[ali-nook]

dont know how to word this without ounding like a **** here so here goes.

i dont want to give out names here so ok, im going out with someone named mike and i loce him so much, we've been going out for 3 month i've known him since i've been 3 and we got together and we are really close but we dont hold hands or kiss or anything the nearest we got was hugging, i am awake with this being my first boyfrine we're both shy to make a first move.

but i also like someone called bob, he is great we get along great same as mike but i know bob is more forward with things , fair enough i would still be shy to like do things but i know he would make the first move, with mike it's always me who has to make the first move.

i know bob could give me what i would like, but i am going out with mike and loved him more than bob, im so confused and about mike and bob the first names i thought of lols, please help would be appreishated

it's not like i dont love mike anymore because i do very much

[ali-nook]

cannot go anywhere for advice these days can ya i'll sort my own problems out my myself and just mess everything up

[bobjugs12]

Just to clarify, it's not me you want to sleep with, is it?

[ali-nook]

no hahahaha i was using bob to cover up real names haha

[rowanwitch]

I suspect you don't love either.....like one fancy the other I suggest you wait and see, If you are still a virgin wait a while, you only get to lose it once and it might be nice to have good memories of the event rather than regrets.

[bobjugs12]

But bob isn't my real name.


Help me, i've got a 16 year old trying to jump my bones!!

[ummmm]

Why....in case we try to track them down?

[ali-nook]

i dont want sex from them, i just want a relationship.

[ali-nook]

lol i dont mean you bob, seriously hahaha

[ali-nook]

this guy is my age and, he doesnt look like the person in your display pic

[_sophie_]

I'd stay with Mike then. If you can't love Bob there's no point. But talk to Mike how you feel and tell him that you want him to be more affectionate, I bet he feels the same he's just too shy to admit it! If you really do love Mike, you can tell him this.
Good luck again! x

[ali-nook]

thankyou so much i'll take that advice since nobody else here wnats to trust me

[sara3]

shouldn't you be at school? it's GCSE time...

[bobjugs12]

Thats what they all say.

Look, ali, i'm flattered but i'm old enough to be your Dad (if i started sh@gging at 12), it's just not right.

Go to Mike and teach him the ways of the world. You know it makes sense

[Prudie]

You are clearly to me 5924 who posted this sort of stuff and got 130 answers last Friday and another 21 answers on Sunday evening. If you're not then read the posts, there's lots of good advice.

You've picked things up pretty quickly for someone who joined to day. I have to get back to work.

[grasscarp]

I'm with Prudie and others on this. You are 5924.
"me and my boyfriend have been going out for 3 month and like he hasnt kissed or held my hand yet, we're too nervous to make a first move. i just dont know what to do, im 16 and im female lol if it wasnt obvious"
Even has the same phrase "to make a first move" and also as in above question says no kissing or hand holding.
Dont know why you are pretending not to be same person.

[4getmenot]

I was in same situation, was with someone 2 years, fell for someone else, didnt think about me and other bloke and what could happen because he had a girlfriend but I finished with my bloke because I didnt feel it was right to have feelings for someone else

[boxtops]

have you posted before under another name, ali-nook? There has been another post very similar (although not about liking another guy) very recently.

[boxtops]

^ ignore me everyone, I really should read the full post before responding...

[beryl100able]

This kind of problem seems to attract some pretty facile asnwers, but you're serious, so I'll be serious too. If you love Mike, you love him enough to address problems instead of running after the first guy who doesn't appear to present them. If you leave Mike for Bob, then likewise one day you'll be leaving Bob for someone who doesn't fail to live up to your requirements 100%. If you love Mike, you won't leave him, full stop. Don't confuse and complicate your life by failing to address an issue and running away from it. Don't threaten Mike you'll have to leave him, just try and make him see how you'd like him to be more willing to make the first moves. Bless him - and love every move he feels able to make! Forget the 3-some, it won't lead to happiness - many animals are monogamous, and human beings are too, unless they're depraved.

[askyourgran]

And we also have a young lady called Emily who is in a similar predicament. It would be great if you could all manage to meet up to discuss this.