Partner suffering from depression

[countrybumpkin]

hi
i'm struggling to cope with my partner's recent state of depression, i'm constantly stressed and upset about how she is feeling, i hate showing i'm worried and trying so hard not to cry in front of her.
i get frustrated with myself as i feel i cannot haelp her or make her happy.
anything that stresses her i immediatly try and sort it and calm her but it doesnt help she keeps bursting into tears with panic attacks.
she has been to the doctors and signed off for a week, she has had previous mental health issues and i think she is scared of having that label again.
she has been having recurrent nightmares about her child abuse. is there anything i can do other than try to make her smile and try to protect her from stress?
help

[one-big-letdown]

One thing I'd reccommend is making sure you aren't implying that you're sick of them being down, or that it's their fault etc...

My girlfriend once told me she was going to finish me because of my depression which made me worse...

Hope things start looking up soon :)

[countrybumpkin]

thanks, god no i would never do that. i'm trying so hard make things better for her, but feels like whatever i do makes her worse.
she is going to pick up tablets today :(
she has always been the one with high sex drive and i really lost it until few weeks ago but now i notice the small things like when i touch her skin in a sensual way no reaction from her body or her mouth.
i've never been so scared feel like were drifting apart and dont want to lose her.

[andy-hughes]

Your partner is going through a bad time, and all she needs is your support.

You cannot - and should not try - to stop everything in her life that brings her down - depression (and that is what this is) is far more complex than that.

Try and get her to see her GP, and get some medication. It takes about two - three weeks for it to kick in and settle, so be patient.

In the mean time, be sensitive to her moods. If she wants to be alone, leave her alone, if she wants to talk, listen, if she wants to cry, hold her. If you cannot think of anythng to say, stay silent.

That is really the best thing for her - she needs your patience and suppport until she comes back to you - and she will - promise.

Let us know, please.

[rowanwitch]

Encourage her to take some gentle exercise if you can, and make sure when she feels like eating your diet is as healthy as you can get her to eat. If you can, include foods rich in tryptophan (recommended to me by a psychiatrist) these include turky, yoghurt some nuts, I think avocado as well but there is a long list you could google for more.

Most importantly make sure you have a good support network as you won't be able to help her if you are stressed and upset yourself.

Alcohiol doesn't help but I am sure you know this already. If you are in a small community (I wonder from your user name if you might be) it can sometimes be hard to find other people to talk to who understand the extra stresses of same sex couplehood, my family blamed it (inappropriately ) for my depression in the past .....So if you can think of anything I might be able to help with add it to the thread and I'll get back to you.

Best wishes Rowan

[Eve]

You could ask her about little things you can do to help her, don't push her but make sure she knows she can come to you if there is anything which might help, however daft it might sound.

It could be something simple like something she really fancies to eat or fancies doing, going to feed the ducks, anything mindless really.

Is there something she could focus on to help her through the rough part? Something like a favourite film or TV show you could get her a box set of or similar?

Something that helps her get into a relaxed comfortable environment?

[one-big-letdown]

Yes, best of luck to you & your partner countrybumpkin