What are the real reasons why men leave with no explanation?

[tatonic]

You should know before continuing I can not spell.

This man was and is a likable person. He would enter a room and captivate everyone in such a subtle way. His presence was not overwhelming, loud or demanding, it was comfortable. He was funny, talented, very handsome and humble. Everybody liked him.

I fell in love with him of course almost immediately and so began two years of running into each other here and there sharing sweet flirtations. It was clear he was physically attracted but did not want a relationship. I would have obliged him on those terms but he never took advantage.

Then after a year of not being in touch we become friends again and we were some what a couple, (we lived many hours away from eachother), but we had frequent visits, I met his parents--even spent a weekend with them.

In March we were planning a visit but it was complicated for me schedule wise so nothing came of it.
Then fewer and fewer phone calls. I was also having a bit of trouble personally, he didn't inquire and I did not say anything, but he knew. Very crappy of him, not in character as well.

Then he stopped calling, I would not want to call but would give in maybe once a month. Last phone call, his friend answered and told him I was on the line and he told his friend to tell me he was not home. All of which was intended for me to hear.

It's over. I just need to know why, the more insulting and cruel the better, that way I can not want to associate with him ever again, as well.

You should know, he hasn't had many serious girlfriends, or experience and he is entirely heterosexual , with most likely anxiety about performance. I have a good amount of experience which he correctly assumed without ever asking. He also is from a happy home and loved by his family.

[cazzz1975]

distance can put a lot of strain on a relationship and if he is as charismatic as you saty then chances are in your absence he may have formed better bonds with the people he sees on a daily basis, Im sure his feelings for you were real for a time, but over time and distance its become an effort, especially if you were having personal trouble, he did not want to deal with it.

okay that may make him a bad guy but I suppose living hours away he must have felt like a single man most of the time and with his natural attributes has probably built up something with women that are more local to him. I would personally move on.

[todoronron]

i see my wife and baby like every 3 months and its fine. you just have to accept that it isnt meant to be. love can conquer distance and time. You must put this hetrosexual guy who is loved by his family in perspective. He sounds like a selfish sort who is only centred towards his own gain.

[todoronron]

tatatonic I did a microsoft spell check on this and the only mistake you made was on line 10 where you combined the words 'each' and 'other'. You see this is a typo mistake. It suggests you don't have a very high opinion of yourself from your first statement. You are a good speller as you proved. Have you thought of confidence building classes?

[NicciParris]

Tatatonic - we all know that men are strange, complex creatures ;). I'm currently having some time deciphering the body language of a man I have not yet got close to. But sometimes it's easier to decode the intentions of others if we aren't involved with them, as in your case.

Of course, there could be a 1000 different reasons why he's ended it. The most likely is that he's gone off you (it happens) or that he simply doesn't think you two have a future together.

I know it's terribly difficult to be rational when blinded by love and desire. But I get the feeling you want someone to come up with a less-painful reason
as to why he's ended it. Perhaps he's being held prisoner somewhere? Maybe he's been brainwashed to go off you? Maybe the "friend" on the phone is his boyfriend and is blackmailing your ex to see him and dump you?
All highly unlikely. And your automatic dismissal that your ex could be gay or that he's seeing someone else. Thats more of a comfort to your ego than anything else, surely?
He could be a commitment-phobe, an emotional dud. He could have a wife and family. He could also, in the time-honoured fashion, have used you and then moved on. That's painful but it goes on all the time.
Find someone else.

[NicciParris]

Tatonic - I've just read your later posts and see that you've thought things through a little clearer. I hope you find love elsewhere and if this man suddenly comes into your life again, you might want to find out why he has done so before you allow your heart to be bruised again.

[joeluke]

He obviously got fed up with this non-relationship but didn't have the balls to tell you

[tatonic]

todoronron

Thank you for your thoughtful efforts. I'm amazed there were no spelling mistakes. A self confidence class would be useful, but not on the premise of my low opinion of my spelling abilities. Read my response to "Bored of being single", you will come to the same conclusion. Again, very thoughtful gesture on your part..many thanks.

[woofgang]

tatonic i am neither touchy nor angry and i certainly didn't mean to imply that you are not good enough...actually i think that anyone who would behave in such a rude cowardly way is not good enough for you. honestly though if you don't live geographically close, all that you can know about him when he is not with you is what he tells you and that includes his prior love life.