Aching Loins

[redman41]

I have this continuous dull ache in my loins which has persisted for about a fortnight now.
Are there any cures for this or should I seek either self healing or do I need an experienced Woman to sort out the problem.
rowan should be able to help with backup from Squad !!!

[bobjugs12]

Now Red, obviously both Rowan and Sqad have experience than me in the long term treatment for ailments and illnesses, but for immediate, pre-hospital care I may be able to give some helpful advice.

First of all, I'll warn you that this treatment may not alleviate the problem for long, and in some cases may actually increase the ferocity of symptoms, but most of the time will help as a short term fix. Also i'll warn you that this treatment should not be carried out in public, or in a location where you may have family members checking on you as some aspects may cause embarrassment to you and others.

What you need to do:
Cook yourself a nice dinner, and while it is the oven stick a bottle of bubbly in to chill.
Whilst the dinner is cooking and the wine is cooling, have yourself a nice sensual bath. Use some posh bubblebath, and light some scented candles.
When dinner is ready make sure you have candles and a bit of Barry White on the stereo. Compliment yourself on your cooking, and enjoy feeding yourself some strawberries.
After dinner, give yourself a nice massage with some oils, and then comes the important bit.
You need to...........................................
.(censored
because of technical medical explanations)................................
....................and
there you go, jobs a good'un.

Hope this helps

Bobjugs

[redman41]

LOL bobjugs !! 10 out of 10 for that answer and I don't think rowan or Squad could top that :-)))

[sara3]

pass the sick bag........... !

[redman41]

sara3 could give me further advice bob !!

[zzxxee]

sounds like you need some self gratification !!

[redman41]

zzxxee you could be right ! :-))

[bobjugs12]

Sara, if your advice re: aching loins involves a sick bag, then you are one twisted bird!! ;-)

[zzxxee]

THEN GO FOR IT DUDE !!! gosh im so common today !!!

[sara3]

no, I was just wondering how I'd stumbled into a soft porn site ;o)

[Sqad]

bob....indeed, I cannot improve on that, but red, this is a normal physiological response to thinking of rowan.........I get it all the time, but my "abnormal" sensation is in my groins.

Bobjugs idea of a massage is sensational, but never EVER do it alone....you need a woman for this manoeuvre and I cannot think of a better partner than NoM or rowan. ........although, I might give sara a shot of excitement. Massage oils are essential. She lays head down first and you sensually massage her all over. Nakedness is NOT important, bra and pants is acceptable, the latter is indeed my preference. You then turn her over after removing the bra, pants being optional and proceed in the same manner. You will then find that the pain has left your loins and has been transferred to the loins of your partner which is then easy to deal with.

[zzxxee]

ooooooooooeerrrrrrrrrr mrs !!!!

[redman41]

LOL Squad. Knew I could count on your expertise. I think yours and bob's are the best answers so far !! ;-)

[sara3]

thanks Sqad, but I'd rather have a shot of Ketamine :o/

[Sqad]

sara....I don´t blame you....................best offer you will get this month (the ketamine I mean)

[bobjugs12]

Sqad, I have to ask, were you the sort of doc to use acronyms like NFN, PAFO and TUBE?

[bobjugs12]

Redman, you can listen to sqads advice re massage, or you can listen to a real master of the art of self-gratification. You choose!!

[sara3]

when you said "I'd have a shot at Sara" you obviously missed out the word "low".

[brenda]

Am I missing out on something -- do not understand any of this post. Help needed I think.

[cazzz1975]

I just cooked some loins, they were mighty fine!

[snags]

Any gristle in them loins cazzz?