Partner unable to pay any bills, what should I do?

[beatrice]

Have been seeing a man for over a year, started off in seperate homes, he had a well paid job. After about 3 months, he went bankrupt and had no money. Around this time, we signed a rent lease, he signed but said he cannot pay, so i have paid for nearly the whole year, he comes over most days but doesnt live with me. Ive a few months left on the lease and he says he wants to extent it (even though he hasnt paid any money toward rent or bills or moved in). We now have a baby together and I have paid for all the baby's needs and furnished the rental home, paid all bills including his that arent related to me. I really need some advice on what I should do in moving to another place. Not sure whether I want be used anymore, as thats how I feel. He has cost me a lot of money as he never has any and is always stuck to pay for anything for himself. I have not had any money or things leant out to him returned. I have not been given anything from him. Advice please.

[Huderon]

Being bankrupt does not stop you from earning a good salary and does not leave you penniless, and these days, provided you do what the reciever tells you to do, it ends after 12 months. Some payments may be taken from your salary automatically for up to 3 years, but that's about it.

If he was employed, not self-employed, he should have been able to keep working and earning his salary. If he was self-employed, there would have been nothing to stop him finding another job.

To put it bluntly, you are being taken for a ride and you know it. Dump him and get on with your life

[Eve]

With you having a child together I'd say it's time to have a serious discussion about things.

Has he managed (or even tried) to get another job or income coming in to be ale to contribute?

[ummmm]

If you want to stay where you are can't you extend the lease in your name only?

Do you want to stay with this drain on your resources?

[AryomGrob]

Oh beatice! Read your own message back to yourself, but pretend that someone else wrote it about themselves. What would you advise them? I'm sure you know. It sounds as though you are a very strong woman and your partner is only good at one thing, procreation, which almost any male can do, without effort. You are going to be the parent who loves, supports and teaches your child. Be stronger than ever now and keep separate from this person on a financial basis, in other words, do not be tied to him in any way financially as he will be a heavy and severely punishing weight which will pull you down. Keep in touch with him by all means if you wish, but only if you wish. He may then make more of an effort to be decent. At the moment he has everything he wants handed to him on a plate, so course he wants to extend it. Now I won't be rude here, but I have a filthy mind when it comes to men wanting to extend it, because I'm gay and can't be bothered with whatever it is they are extending! Oh sorry beatrice but I work with lots of naughty postmen so I have become too worldly wise. Though...may I say, even I am not worldly wise enough! I still make mistakes of my own, though I can see your situation clearly. You are being far too soft with him. If he can't afford something, he shouldn't have it. Leave him to stew my dear!

[joeluke]

He's taking you for a mug and the longer you let it go on without doing anything about it the more he'll take advantage of you

[beatrice]

thank you for your replies, i know what i need to do now. I was trying to keep the peace with him. He has worked a few months back and i didnt see any of the money come back my way. Thanks Huderon for your info about bankruptcy, as he has led me to believe that it will take longer. Want to do whats best for the baby.

[ummmm]

What's best for the baby is having two solvent parents and not one draining the other.