Feeling a bit unwelcomed!

[_sophie_]

So I've been in my "group" of friends pretty much since I started high school and I'm in my 5th year now. I posted on this a couple of days ago, basically I'm busy the majority of Saturdays and they always ask me to do stuff when they already know I'm busy and they just seem to not want to get onto the nightlife scene but I do.
Anyway I don't know if I'm just having a bad week, but there was quite alot of awkwardness between us (My friend invited me to her house during the day, I said I would come later because I was busy, got home later than I expected soaking wet from the rain and said I would meet them that night instead because we had been invited to go to a friend's house and they got annoyed because they didn't get why I could go to the other girl's house at night but not her's during the day) and they tried to clear the air by confronting me about it. It was good to get it out there and it has cleared the air (kind of) but I still feel really unwelcome around them and feel as if they're fed up with me or something. I try my best but when I try to make a joke or something they just ignore it.. it's just not the same as before. They want to do stuff EVERY weekend and it's just boring like go to someone's house and put face masks on. I'm not offended if they do stuff and leave me out because I can't do Saturdays but they don't seem to get it. Now one of the girls has invited us to her house this Saturday when I already told her I'm going away and they just keep hinting that they want to come to my house but to be honest at the moment I don't want them in my house if they're going to be like that. I can't exactly go into another group because it just wouldn't be right but I just feel unwelcomed and a bit unwanted if I'm honest like they are all together and I'm stuck on the end.

Sorry sorry sorry this is ages long but I think I just had to get it out there! I'm so thankful this is anonymous!! :)

[ummmm]

How old are you again?

[mike11111]

16 if she's in fifth year.

[bednobs]

hmmmm. You ARE just an add on. By NEVER seeing them on saturdays when they see each other, of course they are going to bond less with you. They want to do facemasks every sat, but you want to do rugby every sat (which im sure they would find boring) You cant have it both ways,
imho they have been exemplery in their behaviour they keep on inviting you although you never say yes, and when they have a problem with it, they come to you to tell you instead of just moaning about you behind your back. they continue to try and include you despite you always turning them down

[karenmac60]

Maybe they think you don't want to be around them and that you're making excuses not to see them. Try and see it from their point of view - every time they ask you to do something you say you have other plans, including when your friend invited you round and you said you couldn't, but you could go to someone else's. Yes, you have genuine reasons for it all, but maybe they think you are just making excuses. You should also weigh up what is more important - your friends, or rugby. It's not so much about what they are doing and whether or not it interests you, but about being there and spending time with them. Nothing gets my back up more than a friend who claims to want to see me but refuses to make time or sacrifice anything for that to happen. Maybe you could go to the rugby every other week and make time from your friends the rest of the time. They'll get tired of it eventually and stop trying to include you - there comes a point where it's just humiliating to be turned down all the time.

[cazzz1975]

I agree with the above posters, you have to look at what you are contributing to the friendship, I have no doubt that they are probably fed up of being rejected because you are busy, eventually they get used to being a smaller group and yes that means they will probably drift away from you at school.

this is why you feel unwelcomed by them at the moment, the answer to this will have to come from you though.

[GleekyBoo]

I'm kind of in the same situation as you. Except in ym life there's this girl who is trying to tak my best friend away and i don't know what to do. I also fear of being left alone. I bet you want to just walk away and make new friends. I bet that thinking about being in a group of friends were you get to talk about what you wanna talk about and be yourself in makes you wish you had different friends?? My advice for you is tobe friendly with other girls in your clas or year. I'm trying that and this year iv made alot of new friends. Eventually youll meet someone who you enjoy being around and will want to spend every minute with them an at eachothers houses. Unfortunately he only friend i want is the one being taken away from me. Maybe you could help me with my problem. Read more about it in my post MY Jelou Friends ..Hope i helped :)

[_sophie_]

Yep yep and yep.. your totally right! Sometimes I'm just like screw it all, make new friends and start again. I am friendly with other girls in the year but recently they have also changed but I still talk to them.
Everything with my group is much better now though. We are back to normal but there are still some things that get on my back a bit but then I suppose that comes with any friends? Thanks though :)