Seeing a pregnant woman

[andypandy10]

Hi all

I met a girl 2 months ago online, she was just "looking for friends"...we hit it off and have been seeing each other. she was just over 6 months pregnant at the time and has an 8 year old son, we are both mid 30's. her ex husband left and declared he was having an affair just prior to her finding out she was pregnant.

Shes lovely, honest and gorgeous and we have fell in love these past 2 months and she is due the baby in 4 weeks time.

I get on great with the 8 year old and vice versa and although I think I am looking forward to the new baby I keep getting this huge discouraging feeling as its not mine and it hurts and confuses me, question is will I be able to bond with this baby and do her/the kids justice?

Anyone any experience with this type of situation?

PS - I am divorced with no kids

[rowanwitch]

take it slowly....far to soon to be thinking of a committed relationship....carry on getting to know her and her son, and the little one when it arrives and see how you feel.....don't however get things like feelings of misplaced responsibility and kindness blur your thinking....if it works great if it doesn't let her down gently and move on...

[jackthehat]

With such an open and thoughtful attitude.........I really hope that you can.

Just remember that she is with you and the rest is merely a matter of 'timing'.

If you start feeling a little pushed-out or overlooked when the new baby arrives, make no rash decisions it'll take a while for you all to adjust.

Have a good Christmas and the best of luck to you all. :o)

[Ankou]

i guess she would probably be wondering the same thing.

you will only know how you feel after the event, it might (surprisingly) bring you closer. you seem to have accepted the pregnancy thing from day 1, so just go with the flow and see how it pans out.

[ummmm]

My friend got with his wife when she was pregnant. They went on to have a child together. Although they split after 10 years he still treats both kids the same.

You sound nice...good luck to you both :-)

[beso]

My wife had an 18 month old daughter when we got together. She is 24 now and we are still very close.

[andypandy10]

good answers Guys thank you all so much,
gemima - your making loads of assumptions here about my new partner being on the rebound & being vulnerable etc all of which are not true, truth is when her husband left her she felt released as he was difficult to live with and sometimes abusive.

as for me taking advantage I assure you its untrue, I have no agenda other than to meet someone and settle down, have dated loads of other girls of late with no "baggage" if you like (although I see kids as a blesiing not baggage) and fell for this one despite the situation

I appreciate your thoughts but they are kind of off the mark TBH

[redcrx]

"an ex that may come back"

MAY..........

at what point should the woman accept that the ex will not return and that she can move on with her life? after baby born, when child starts school, when they are 18, when they leave home??

[andypandy10]

gemima - what drama? what ex that may come back? he is very much amicable and on the scene, ive met and shook his hand!!

you clearly live a life full of drama therefore assume everyone else does

[andypandy10]

exactly redcrx - has this girl to put her life on hold till he decides to come back?

he cheated on her and walked out, therefore she quite rightly informed him he can never come back

[beso]

You seem to have strong opinions Jemima. Please tell us about your experiences.

BTW My wife's ex is one of our closest and most dear friends.

[ummmm]

Sounds like a woman scorned...

[Ankou]

from the sounds of it andy, she seems to have taken great comfort from your support. you sound like a gent to me.

i hope it continues to a successful outcome, and wish you all the best, whichever way it turns out.

[daffy654]

Funny how Jemima joined today just to post her negative comments on this question.... at almost the same time as andypandy joined to post said question.

[jackthehat]

He's only bitter at having to have gone through life with the name 'Jemima'.........a bit like Sue in that Johnny cash song :o)