paying back an ex

[craig7453]

i split up with my ex girlfriend 2 and a 1/2 years ago, whilst together she sold her house and we moved into a property together and paid of all our debts using the money from her house sale. I never asked for my debts to be paid off and was certainly never told that this was a loan. we then went on to pay everything together until she we split up and i moved out and back in with my parents. we then got back together and she came to live with me and my parents paying nothing for rent or bills etc. she has now contacted me saying she will be contacting a solicitor to claim back the money she paid out to my debtors..totaling around �17000. can anyone help me to understand where i stand?

[bednobs]

yes, a solicitor could.

[Ethel]

She would have to be able to demonstrate this was a loan and it was intended from the beginning this would be paid back.

Such examples are a contract between the two of you; evidence that you had made some effort to repay it such as a standing order to her bank account; or references to you paying it back at some future point - such as her saying, 'When you pay back the �1700 I'll put it towards a car'.

It will be very difficult for her to prove this in the circumstances you describe - if there had been no intimate relationship between you it would be easier.

Tell her you owe her nothing and see what happens.

[craig7453]

Thanks very much for your advice...I will see a solicitor this week, I only received a text message from her this morning informing me of her intentions so haven't really had a chance to talk to anyone regaring this situation...my heads in a bit of a spin to be honest. There was no mention of it being a loan and I haven't made any repayments to her. Thanks again x

[Ethel]

Don't see a solicitor yet - there really is no need until you receive something in writing from your ex.

The solicitor she sees (if she does) may well advise her it is not worth pursuing as she is unlikely to win

[craig7453]

Ok...that makes sense! Will hang on and see if i receive anything in the post...many thanks. x

[innocenti]

Legally you are OK, but morally? This woman paid off your debts with the proceeds from the sale of her house. You say that you never asked for this to happen. Sorry but I dont believe that.

You owe your ex the money and you should do the decent thing and repay her.

[Mrs_Pegasus]

I would wait for the solicitors letter. Sorry to say but having experienced this first hand without an agreement there is very little she can do. Morally is a different argument but I know someone in the same situation as you and his ex was unable to claim a penny back because there was no actual evidence that the paying of the loans was a further loan by the ex.

[craig7453]

There is no way to prove that i didn't ask her to pay off my debt..I can only give you my word. She paid off my debts...but i went on to buy a hell of a lot more than her for our home, however we did pay all utility bills equally. Unfortunately after I found out about her affair and we split she became a little bit of a nuisance...she even went on to change her surname to mine!! If I had asked her to pay my debts off then I would have no worries about paying the money back...but she didn't and I actually came out of the relationship no better off finacially and it even resulted in a nervous breakdown. She has pestered me since finding out about my new relationship and I'm pretty certain her saying she was seeking legal advice was her way of getting me to contact her...needless to say I didn't and have now changed my number...I don't owe her a penny as far as I am concerned.

Thanks again for all advice x