Disability Allowence................for My Grandaughter Who Is Turning 16.

[lilacben]

My daughter has had a woman come to see her about our granddaughter receiving a Disability Allowance when she turns 16 in a few months time. She has ADHD. Although she has left school .......had to spend this year at a local scat as was suspended from school last july. The question is should my daughter be stopping some of her money for her keep.? As if she had a job.? I cannot see any employer who would employ her to be honest so do not know what the next step will be.?

[Meg888]

I'm awaiting this very appointment soon. My opinion is that we as parents should not take it back or even some of it by way of 'board money'. This is my personal opinion only. We have a responsiblity to look after our kids until they leave education. If my daughter's DLA gets passed to her, then I shall monitor some control over it as she is a vulnerable young girl and it will be taken off her or spent on typical child/teen stuff. I will at times ask for a contribution to my fuel, as I spend an awful lot on it, but a car is essential where she is concerned due to the number of appointments she has, and needing ran to school etc. Like I say, this is just my opinion but I'd be interested in what others think.

[Mrsspagnoli57]

DLA for ADHD? Is this true?? I'm shocked.

[sherrardk]

Mrsspagnoli57 - I am classed as my son's 'parent carer'. He has a severe language impairment and as such is eligible for DLA and I, in turn, would be eligible for carers allowance. However, I am a stay at home mother so I would be looking after my children anyway so I don't claim it (and I don't think it is 'deserved').

[Mrsspagnoli57]

sherrardk-your reasoning is very honourable and I salute you.If only more people had the same reasoning. I work in a school and have supported ADHA children for years but this is the first time I have heard about it being a qualifying condition for DLA.It genuinely surprised me and explains,in part, why so many parents keep pressing schools for support for ADHD children if there is a financial reason as well as a caring reason.

[sherrardk]

I just googled DLA for ADHD and found this - http://community.tes.co.uk/tes_behaviour/f/5/t/24031.aspx

There must be plenty of genuine cases where children need additional care (above and beyond their peers) but the system is screwed up if I am eligible.

[bednobs]

how dare people question whether lilac's granddaughter is eligible for DLA - the DLA people obviously think she is, so what do you know about her that they don't?

[ummmm]

Hear hear, bednobs!

[sherrardk]

Bednobs, I didn't say lilacben's GD wasn't eligible. I was pointing out flaws in the system if I could claim for my own son. It's also not fair how difficult they make it for those who are eligible.

[RATTER15]

Well said bednobs!!

[Mamyalynne]

Saying someone has ADHD is like saying someone has Arthritis, there are so many variables and trust me DLA is not granted easily however any condition affects you or yours.

[lilacben]

Some very good information on the threads. I would like to point out that my granddaughter has had ADHD all her life ..not just as a toddler.but a baby also. But because of doctors not liking to put "labels on children" as one doctor told my daughter. It took until granddaughter was 12 until they finally admitted she had it and the psychiatrist said " this child should have been seen and treated years ago.! She cannot take medication as they all made her lose too much weight so had to be taken off of them. She has struggled through school all her life and really they just didn't do her an justice. they failed her. If only she had help sooner and got it under control. All the tests proved she had ADHD/Autism but she was a couple of points away from a special school.
I am sure a lot of people think dealing with a child like this is easy but believe me they are really hard work and all the mothers deserve medals for having to cope with what they do. So they dont just give this allowance on a whim.No one will ever want employ her as she is. There are so many social skills she still hasnt got. They do say a child like this is three years behind their ages so instead of 16 she thinks and acts like a 13 year old. But going by our other 13 year old granddaughter she acts younger thank that.

[lilacben]

This conversation seems to have gone very quite.?

[Mamyalynne]

//The question is should my daughter be stopping some of her money for her keep.?//

Well as part of teaching her the value of money, then maybe yes. It could always be kept aside in case she needs anything particular, but I can see it doing no harm.

[Canary42]

My sister-in-law taught in a school for special needs lilac, and from the tales she had to tell, you deserve all the support you can get. Ignore the self-centred critics on this thread, many of whom have no idea of what you have to put up with.

As for your question, as Meg said, it really comes down to personal choice (and circumstances).

Good luck lass.

[lilacben]

mamy and canary, many thanks for that. It is so nice to hear other people believe it is a real mental condition. Regards t housekeeping. Well my daughter and I have spoken about it. At the moment she has no concept of money.....if she has it she will spend it on nothing .......well not sure how she gets her cigs.? so if she was to start learning that in life we all have to pay our way and to give something towards her keep would be a start. Brenda x

[Mamyalynne]

I agree, two of my grandsons are on the Autistic Spectrum , both very different - at times it is hard to see how they will manage in the big wide world. But that reason alone does not mean we should not try to teach them how to be out there and enable them to cope the best they can.

[lilacben]

mamy, it is a terrible thing for younsters to have and I just wish there was more that they can do. I get so fed up and annoyed at people ,who do not know what it is like to have a member of the family with any of these things. They have the nerve to say " oh look at that child, I blame the mother" or "oh theres nothing wrong with her ," her parents should have been stricter". blah blah.!! Unruly child ect.! I would love to put them in a room with a child like this and make them stay there for 24 hours....think they may change their minds.!