It is a shame that things have got this far without any sort of action. I do not know the full circumstances however it would seem that you were not aware of the situation and the mortgage lender I would have thought, should have dealt with you directly. However if you made no provision to collect your mail or it was hidden this is where things have gone awry as you have left a property which is yours and then not kept an eye on what was going on. What he is in fact suggesting is that he takes over the mortgage and also gets his name on the title deeds. Have you paid towards the mortgage or the house ? After all this time there should be some equity in the house, which you would be entitled to. However if he has paid the mortgage for 14 years then he should be entitled to some of that equity too. Could you not come to some agreement whereby you still sell the house and he maintains the mortgage or catches up with the arrears and then you split any proceeds in a fair manner and then both move on and start again ?