Mrs_Pegasus � You�re thinking of your death in service benefit ( 2x, 3x, 4x salary etc) which is different from, but often administered with, a company pension. It�s a bit like life assurance and it�s a discretionary payment which means you express your wishes to the Trustees, often but not always the same people who are Trustees for the pension scheme, and they decide how to distribute the payment. Because it often is paid out outside the dead person�s estate (and therefore does not attract IHT) many people use it to pass money to people other than their spouse and bypass IHT.
But it�s different from a pension. Most companies recognise a spouse for widow or widower�s pension and some even recognise partners, but not all.
henrys � in answer to your question, your friend has no right to this information at the moment from anyone who administers the scheme. The only time she can force someone to tell her this info is during a divorce case. Sad but true.