How do I get them to clean up after them

[jhendry3]

My daughter is 20 years old and earning �150 per week her boyfriend is starting to stay more or less 5 times a week. I have food for them but they only eat their own. My partner is getting angry because really she is only paying �20 per week and not really cleaning up after her, her room is basically a pigsty. She is 4 months pregnant and buying lots of clothes and her and her boyfriend are taking advantage of our gas central heating and electricity. I know I sound mean but I feel they are taking advantage of us. Can anybody recommend what I should do. I must mention she leaves food and dishes in her rooom and uses all the towels.

[katieb73]

Maybe its time to sit them down and give them a bit of an ultimatum... Everyone needs to pull their weight. what are the arrangements when the baby comes along? Perhaps a bit of 'tough love' is required...? we all do things that are tedious but it cant be down to you to do it all. Perhaps you could tell them that you really want to be a hands on grandma and will help them, but they need to start to stand on their own two feet and take responsibility for their actions.

i hope all goes well and wish you luck. xx

[Pea Pod]

It`s about time they had there own place. Things will only get worse after the baby comes. You will be chief babysitter come cleaner. Tell them to go to the council, with a baby on the way they`ll go up the list fast.

[jennyp]

You have got to put them straight. You are really letting them live in cloud cuckoo land, - they are going to get one heck of a shock when they have to pay bills in their own place. You certainly aren't being mean - and they are certainly taking advantage.

[kwicky]

I know of some children who never pay a cent towards their upkeep so �20 can't be sniffed at especially as they are providing for their own food.

I would tackle the two others problems:

1. If the boyfriend is staying for the majority of the week why not approach him to pay something towards his cost..is he destitute?
2. Food and dishes....don't have extra china and cutlery, make sure she uses the same plate, cup, cutlery each time she eats..
3. Towels..give her her own towel
4. If he is able get him to do some cleaning up...he will need to as the baby approaches.

I feel that you are just having a moan..be a man and approach them more often.

[souldriver]

Tell them to get thier names down for a council house. If shes pregnent then perhaps its time her boyfriend started taking care of her as a respocable father to be should.

[angie1981]

if she's prepared to expect other people to keep her, then you should put her rent up and charge the boyfriend too to compensate the gas and electricity. if she doesn't like it, like soul driver said, get her to put her name down for a council house so she can live in the real world and her own pigsty! its quite sad, if she can't look after her self now, what's she going to do when the baby arrives. time for hard loved i'm afraid, you need to put your foot down x