Ex wife stopping dad from seeing the child

[blond_law]

my new partner is having real problems with his wife (she won't divorce him!) They have been separated for a year and have a little girl of 19 months. He absolutely dotes on his daughter but his ex keeps playing games with the arrangements for access. She changes days, times, pick ups. Last night he went to pick her up and the ex had gone out and taken the child with her, on the day/night he was meant to have her. When he contacted her, she didn't respond or answer him.

Is there any support groups or anyway of stopping this from happening. She does it every time and the only person who will get hurt the most is the child. I feel like i am on the sidelines and should keep out but it frustrates me so much to see a child used in this way. If he was a dad who didn't want to see his child then fine but its breaking his heart and he's scared that she will stop access all together so just puts up and panders to her every move!

[david51058]

There is no excuse ever for using children as weapons, whatever the circumstances of the break up.

[ummmm]

He'll have to take her to court.

[guilliebrougues]

He could apply for a court order so that reasonable access could be granted. good luck.

[ummmm]

A year is not very long either. The Ex is probably still feeling very bitter.

[Ric.ror]

KEEP A DIARY - sorry to shout but if this happens all the time and if, as you say, your partner is keeping to the agreement he needs the proof
I would also keep a list of calls etc and receipts. If you have the eveidence there what come back will she have?

[Ric.ror]

Brilliant trigger - but still keep a diary

[Ric.ror]

(got cut off then)
Thing is if you can show a child your record of things in 16 years or whatever imagine how wanted the child will feel - if you tried to ring the child every night just for 2 mins to say goodnight - its all got to be in your favour

[blond_law]

ive told him to keep a diary which he is doing but she holds all the strings and just decides everything. he is so scared of not seeing his child that he goes along with what she says. She treats him more like a babysitter when it suits her than her childs dad. She is so manipulative. I have tried to find websites that support fathers but haven't found many. Its so sad that dads get treated like this.

[ummmm]

Has he been to see a solicitor?

[Ric.ror]

Its a disgrace when decent men are not allowed to see their children and I speak from the other side too

[blond_law]

he can't afford a solicitor at the moment. i have suggested mediation. She is on benefits and would get any legal stuff free but i think she enjoys the powertrip and obviously has no regard for the effects this will have on the child therefore wants this to carry on.

[chrissa1]

I feel really sorry for your partner. As well as the other good suggestions, how about Citizen's Advice Bureau?

[Nini74]

you say he's your "new partner" - i wonder whether she was like this before he was happy with someone else? also, i assume she's single? just a wild guess really, but from experience, it seems that women who are selfish and ignorant like this tend to play up when either (a) they're single/newly single, (b) ex has moved on or both. all you can do is be there for your partner and show him support. he should consult a solicitor, but problem there is that if she gets legal aid, she'll drag everything out so it'll cost your man a fortune - and even then, there's no saying she'll stick to the terms of a court order if he gets one. such a shame women use their children like this...