In a similar vein to the 'Feel Torn In Two' post below.....

[joeluke]

if your mother didn't like your partner and was trying to come between you/make you choose between them, how would you react?

For me it would be no contest.........my mother would never come between me and my woman

[RATTER15]

I think any Mother or Father that does that deserves to be pushed out and left behind.

[ummmm]

Mine wouldn't either....

Not that either of our mums would ever dream of doing so.

[B00]

Hang on...how are they trying to come between the two of you? If they had genuine concerns about your partner, then they're only looking out for you by telling you of them- right?

[ummmm]

No BOO, some of them are just bitches.

[B00]

yes but some aren't Ummmm.

To be honest, this question is a no brainer, for instance there could be any number of reasons why your mother was warning you off your partner.

your new partner, could be slapper, a gold digger etc etc etc. Wouldn't any mother warn you of that fact if they knew?

[B00]

fair do's pix and ummmmm, but im just saying...it aint always so black and white is it? There could be good reasons why your mother is concerned.

[jackthehat]

I can't help but think that the former Mrs jl may, many times, have wished that she'd listened to *her*mother............

[Old_Geezer]

I think the person concerned needs to accept some folk will just not get on, and work around that. But ultimately they have to stick by their partner and tell their parent that whist it is understood they don't approve, for politeness they must come to terms with the situation. That their advice is always appreciated, and their criticisms considered, but having now reached a certain age the decision is the individual's, and not their parents'; so enough is now enough.

[ummmm]

Yes BOO...some have genuine reasons.

Some, like my ex MIL, don't. She's just a bitter woman who doesn't like anyone who is younger, prettier, thinner....etc.

Oh...and she just happens to live two doors down from me and Ginge...

[joeluke]

JTH, I too wish she'd listened!

[joeluke]

Some mothers can be vindictive and do not like their sons chosen partner and try everything possibe to make life awkward and to drive a wedge between them in the hope that the son will 'see sense' and split from the girl

[ummmm]

Luckily Joe....some sons can see that...

My current MIL is lovely :-)

[joeluke]

Yes ummmm, but 'mummys boys' can't and tend to side with their mam

[ummmm]

I've never been in a relationship with a mummy's boy.

[ChocolatChip]

My husband's mother did this to my husband and me. He told her that he didn't want to see her ever again, and he was going to marry me and that was that.
He hasn't spoken to her for over a year, she didn't come to the wedding or anything.
It's sad, yes, but she is an evil woman, her and her husband treated me awfully in an attempt to make me leave him.

[China Doll]

My mother would just say what her reservations were and leave me to get on with it. And even then, probably only if I asked her opinion, she'd have to be incredibly worried to just blurt it out. In that sense, we are alike. We say what we think and then back off to be either a support or be proved wrong, we would both hope for the latter.

Given that my mother is generally a sensible woman, I think I would be inclined to listen to what she had to say even if I didn't agree with it. I guess the difference is whether you think your mother has mallicious tendencies and therefore her opinion would be treated with that in the back of your mind. My mother isn't malicious and neither is the man hostages thankfully. :c)

[rowanwitch]

My mother said she would not ask me to choose...she would do it for me...so far still not speaking to me..