If Family Do Not Hear From You For Weeks, Why Would They Not Try To Find You?

[postage]

I have 7 brothers and 3 sisters’ mother and father we all live in different parts of Uk. I used to talk regularly to my mother, on the phone and sometime visit her.
My father, brothers and sisters. Had stopped talking to me about 15 years, I don’t know the reason, o one explained or asked me, there was a family function where my mother forced me to attend it, she told me that she had asked all the brothers and sisters to talk to me when I am there and make me feal like a part of the family, when I arrived no one spoke to me and I just pretended to be a part of that family by laughing and taking to people I did,nt know.
How ever my older brother did a little presentation for my parents and left me and my kids out. When I asked him why he said he didn’t want
To talk to me about it.
No one stood up for me and all my other brothers and sisters just sat there and watched it, ( they enjoyed it)
I have not phoned my mother for nearly 3 weeks and no one has bothered to check to see if I am alive.
What would you do???????????????

My kids are fantastic they talk to me.

[postage]

Because he’s cunning so & so. Although he’s my nephew he’s a nasty peace of work, one of he’s sister married out of religion and my older brother didn’t go to the wedding but then this nephew’s younger sister was due to marry out side religion as well he thought he’s get my brother back by sending him, this letter 2 weeks before the wedding but managed to shift the blame on my family!!!! Because we live like the Romans do when in Rome.

[andy-hughes]

It is apparent that the issues revolve around religion and culture which i would hazard a guess are Asian?

As such, it is difficult for white Brits to make any meaningful observations because our knowledge of Asian faiths and cultures is sketchy at best for most of us.

For a purely humanitarian perspective - which doesn't need to concern itslef with race or creed - I would be inclined to cut loose from your family since they appear to have done so from you.

Your mother sounds as if she is bound by a traditional marraiage - but try and stay in touch with her. You are all your mother's children, and hopefully she is not taking sides in this.

Hope you reach a conclusion you can live with.

[postage]

This nephew I rich, not by working hard or education – he got there by the Bank of Mum & Dad.
Trouble maker and materialistic he shows off about he’s cars and house and parties,
He takes what he can from any one, he knows my older brother has influence in the family so he wants him on he’s side
s

[AB Editor]

Ah, Romans!

Feed your nephew to the lions if at all possible.

(thanks for answering)

[woofgang]

You can't change what others do, only what you do. Enjoy your kids and dump the losers.

[postage]

Woofgang for years I suffered thinking I had been framed for something I didn’t do. Now the whole family is against me, and no one talks to me but they expect me to attend any family do’s they have so they can ridicule me, my poor mother properly feels bad for me but need a roof over her head, he’s a afraid. She spent all her life being afraid.
He never worked ever had any money of her own and now more then ever is scared to upset the I can understand. I feel resentment towards her thou, I want her to stand up for me and tell others that I am just as important part if that family as any of them, but she wont do it, so I have decided not to talk to her too.
Its been three weeks surely one member of that family she confides in must wonder where I am? Or what has happened. Looks like she hasn’t told them she secretly phoned me.

[woofgang]

you don't have to go to family stuff if you don't want to, you can phone and talk to your mum if she wants you to...just do what you want and stuff the rest.

[pixie373]

It sounds harsh, but I think if your family believe you're going against their religious beliefs, it could be hard to change their minds.
Are there any of your brothers or sisters that might be more open towards you? You may have to speak to each person individually and see where you get.

[cazzz1975]

my advice is to stay in touch with your mom and forget the rest.

[Baldric]

There is no rule that says families must stay in touch with or talk to one another, it looks like it's going to be up to you who you stay in touch with and who you leave alone, you can't force anyone to talk to you if they don't want to, neither can your mother.
Good luck.

[albaqwerty]

stay in touch with mum, as others have said, her heart must be breaking.

[postage]

i know my mothers heart must be breaking me not calling her, but I feal she should live freely and not be pressured in any other way of life i know she's 82 and not have many years to go ----- but I do.
I dont agree with this kind of differences in human race.

any way i have spoken to each one saperatly and they all care about material things and wealth which my older brother has and I dont so money talks ----- I walk I am not rich but comfortabel but like him liveing like a king all given to him by my father and yes I am a female.

two things going against me in my culture, am a woman, single, and not wealthy. so no one will side with me. not even my mother.

this is why i have nt phoned her i wanted her to stand up for me!!!