Should I Get In Contact Yes Or No ? Please Explain Why, Thank You.

[LostSoulx]

I use to be very close to my cousins, they were more like a brother and a sister to me, however due to infighting in the family between their mum and dad and my father, which started when I was 14, I was kind of forced to lose contact with them, due to pressure from my dad and also the fact that I was constantly being involuntarily pulled into their squabbles as piggy in the middle stroke messanger boy. It had to be done for my own sanity.

I am now in my late 20s, I have bumped into them a few times, but I have never gone round to their house or had any long peroid of interaction with them since I was 15 going on 16. My aunt always sends a birthday card and christmas card, letting me know what they have all been upto and to come visit them, but while I do get back to the card I never commit to seeing them.

I have changed a lot since then, I dont feel I am the decent person that I used to be, my life so far is an absolute failure in every way. A part of me thinks I should get in touch and another part of me feels that it has been so long that I should leave the past behind and move on.

I was really upset when i had to pull myself away from them, but after all this time they have become strangers to me, and I have changed so much I would be a stranger to them.

Do you think I should get in touch, yes or no and why ?

Thanks in advance.

[Purple_Popple]

Do what you feel is right. Life is too short but it does sound like you want to. What have you got to lose after so long? Good luck!

[pixie373]

I'd say why not? They're your family and still seem to care about you. Maybe give them the chance. If they still bring up the past and make you feel uncomfortable, you don't have to go back.

[EcclesCake]

I would, they are family and you seem to be missing them.

Your Aunt sends you cards and shares I for so she is keeping the door open for you to get in touch.

You tend to regret the things you don't do more than the things you have done. Get in touch, I'm sure you will be glad you did.

[boxtops]

You've got nothing to lose - go for it.

[LostSoulx]

Thank you so far for all that have answered, I guess the only thing I worry about is I no longer match up to the person I use to be in their eyes.

[joko]

you are not the one who had the falling out and neither were they - your parents rows should not prevent you having contact
they may well be thinking the same thing

why not just invite them for a pub lunch or something one day? - something neutral and nothing special, just people having lunch

[joko]

is there some definite reason why you think that?
are you on drugs? were you? are you an alcoholic? a drug dealer?

i mean why would they be disappointed in you?

if you mean something like your job is menial or something then i wouldnt worry about that, they are family

[lcg]

life doesn't always work out how you want it to - you seem to be putting yourself down (low self-esteem) and you know what your cousins are kind of up to, but i bet they will have their ups and downs too. nobody will judge you.....if you try to contact them and they do, then walk away. you are an adult and as such can choose to pursue a relationship, and then leave it at any time if it is not for you. good luck x