absent father

[lollipop...]

does any i know if my ex (not married) with no parntal rights would be allowed to see our 5 and 3 yr old after 3 yrs of absent. no calls or birthday, xmas card ect.. nothing!

[Emz26]

Are they they natural father and are they named on the birth certificates?

[mrknowall]

Well he is there dad
I know he has been away for 3 years but he might of realised what he has done.
And should the children loose out again on a father just because you dont want him there.
Id tell him he makes reg vists and if he lets them down then put your foot down.

[Pippa68]

Give him a chance.

The issue shouldn't be a legal one. Do the right thing by your children, and let them have the chance.

I speak as a child who grew up not knowing my dad because my mother wouldn't allow him to see me. I still suffer because of it..and I am pushing 40!

[amonty1144]

You say allowed to see, is there a reason for him not to see them, social services and the courts might think it inadvisable if there are circumstances that would put your children at risk.

If you have custody then it is your choice.

I work with children in these circumstances and I would get the father to make a commitment to them. Start by letters, phone calls and then a visit, if it works out. It should be taken at the kids speed and if it isn't good for them, then don't pursue it.

The kids will be confused as this will be a person that they don't know.

Hope this helps.

[justjuice]

If his name is on their birth certificates there's not much you can do about it - you can go through the courts and insist that they are supervised visits until you are happy that your children can cope with it, but they do have the right to know both parents even if one is stupid enough to make such a big mistake by ignoring them for a while.

[grumpii]

He makes me feel ill. Ask him for 3 years worth of cash towards upkeep / birthdays / christmas / etc.. and see if he legs it again. hope it goes the way you want it