ex husband, daughter & living arrangements

[kimmy72]

My 14 year old daughter lives with her dad and has done since she was 8 but now she would like to live with me (mum) her dad has been really nasty and said if she did then he would no longer spaek to her and disown her. I've told her he wouoln't and its not fair for him to say those things. I am happy for her to live with me but she is scared to make the first move. Legally not sure what to do?

[andy-hughes]

The three of you need to discuss this properly, maybe with a counsellor to 'referee' and keep the discussions on track.

These issues are always highly emotional, as demonstrated by your husband, who is feeling fearful and angry, and hurt, even though these feelings may be utterly unfounded.

Communication is the ley to unlock all of this - have a chat with Relate for some counselling, or referal to someone who can give you proper advice.

[zzxxee]

can you not let her stay with her dad for half the week and you have her theother half or have her alternate weeks maybe?

[kimmy72]

Hi
That is what i asked her dad a few months ago and my daughter was happy with that but the dad not!! His needs come first unfortunately not our childrens!!
I am going to talk to a solicitor to see if my daughter has to get his permission or can just come and stay with me. From what i can gather she is old enough to decide for herself

[Beanmistriss]

My partners son decided to come and live with us when he was 14. There was no residence order or custody awarded through a court in the first place so it was entirely his choice. Not sure if it would be diffierent if there had been?

[craft1948]

My daughter used to live with me for 2 weeks then her dad for 2 weeks...............

[katiecarol]

it's up to your daughter, he can't do a thing. at 14 the court nor police would force her to go back to him. she is old enougth to make the decision. my son was at my mom's on a residence and he came home to me and there was nothing they could do so they didnt even try. she maybe better with you as if he thinks that much of her he'd be more resonable not selfish and posessive. good luck.