How to ask Mother in law to give me notice

[numnum]

I need some advice on the best way to say to my MIL to give me a days notice if she wants to take my daughter.

The only reason I get annoyed is because she only has her for a couple of hours every 2 or 3 months. if i get to have time alone with my youngest i want to make the most of it and plan to go swimming (as its impossible to take a 2 year old and a 10 month to our local pool as the changing rooms are at the side of the pool and not safe) or just to have some time to play with the youngest without the oldest needing all my attention

i don't want to offend her but the other day she just turned up expecting to take her there and then. i would like to make good use of my 2 hours peace every couple of months

[jaydah]

Allow MIL to have her way this time but turn her visits around to suit you. When you want 'your' time tell MIL your daughter enjoyed time with her so much that d'ter is crying for more time with MIL.

Do it everyday, if you want more time with the youngest. You can add that the youngest feels left out and send both to MIL.........permanently - lol

[Hopkirk]

Just tell her straight.

[society]

Tell her the truth – you would like a bit of notice whenever she decides to visit with granddaughter. It might not always be possible, you may have made plans and it wouldn't always be convenient for her to take the child.

[Barmaid]

Would it be possible to plan, say, a month in advance with MIL? Could you explain to her that your eldest loves spending time with Grannie and would like to make it a regular thing and then pencil it in for, say, every Thursday morning?

[joko]

i understand your annoyance...but you clearly admit she is doing you a favour by giving you that few hours free...maybe she cant plan ahead and just finds herself with a free afternoon and decides to make the most of it?...you are expecting her to fit round you...youy are saying she cant have her unless you have had time to organise something fun for you to do...
i agree she shouldnt just turn up and expect to take the child though...next time just explain that you already have plans and next time to let you know...do that enoughh time and she will soon learn to check first, after a few wasted trips...