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i have had many a chat with my partner, i do like the idea of getting her to go to poverty centres, i do like that very much, i have also talked about giving her responsibilities, ie, tickets for gigs, my partner always pays for them up front and this can be hundreds of pounds and then she gets the money back from others, i said show your daughter how to do all this and she can arrange to get the monies and do it herself, a feeling of being responsible,
as has been said it is ultimately down to my partner, she chooses to ignore so much, much of this is fear based, but i also know this is a phase that is very draining on both of us, but also as written by an ABer "She has to instill a little tough love here and not beat herself up about it, her daughter needs more responsibility and independence or she is not going to be able to stand on her own 2 feet. Make your partner realise that far from being a bad parent by not giving in to all demands, she is giving her daughter valuable life lessons on being able to look after herself" i fully agree !