HOW IMPORTENT IS A NAN IN A CHILDS LIFE?

[postage]

How much of your own life should you give up to be a good nan

[jackthehat]

1. Very.
2. As much as is feasible.

[jno]

as little as possible. Nans have done their bit with bringing up children, and tend to resist being treated as unpaid childminders.

[redcrx]

give up? you make it sound like its a hardship.
Ive a long way to go until im a grandparent (if i ever am) but i would like to think that i wouldnt see it as having to make room.

[Sqad]

Is this question for grandma´s only?

[Hopkirk]

If you 'give up' part of your own life, it will be to help the parents not the child.

[sara3]

a child should know that there are people there who care and love them. how that manifests itself, and who that comes from, is another matter.

[cazzrob]

i think its very important, id give up as much time as i could to have my grandson, its not about being a glorified babysitter, its about spending quality time with these fantastic little people. unfortunately after a fallout with my son's girlfriend, she stopped me seeing him for over almost a year, but luckily she had a change of heart and i now have him over at least once a week to sleep over and see him throughout the week. he is my pride and joy and would do anything for him.

[RATTER15]

That depends so much on the Nan and how much she wants to put into the child, the child will survive without ever knowing a nan but the child will love the extra attention a loving Nan could give.

[mxyzptlk]

Idon't think they are that important as long as the child has loving parents. The child should be aware of them and nans etc should be ready if the child wants them

[annie0000]

I didn't have any grandparents that I remeber growing up - they died either before I was born or when I was very young. My kids only have my mum still alive. For me, it is not about giving up loads of time or babysitting etc - which is mainly for the parents rather than the child, it's about making sure that the children know that you love and care about them. That can be by sending them a postcard while you are travelling the world, phoning them on days that are important to them, and just being a listening ear.

[postage]

I agree with most of you that itis for the parents as well as the child. I think sometimes the parents take you for granted and ntot fully appreaciate the fact that you have put your life on hold untill the child and the parent can co-op.
my question is yes you do love the child very much but at the same time you are helping the parents. Do you sometimes feal neglected by the parenets ie; taken for granted???

Nan's have a difficult task. love the child and love there own child sothey do every thing they can to help. and feal guilty when they can't.
what should you do

[jackthehat]

Do you believe that you are being asked to do too much, or too little ?

It's not clear from your questioning.

[tiggerblue10]

I think its up to the grandparents how involved they are. My parents dote on Little Tiggs and interact with him a lot.

[ummmm]

My Nan played a massive part in my life from day one. My Mother hasn't really played much of a role in my children's life so I'm guessing she took everything my Nan did for granted.

[tiggerblue10]

My nan looked after me when my parents worked full-time.

[postage]

Say for eg: since the and before the baby was born you have been there for the child and if every day after work you go over to the parents house and help out with cooking cleaning washing and by the time you go home you are shattered but content that you have helped your grandchild but as far as the parents are concerned sometimes the father of the child does not appreciate or show that he does – where the mum i.e. your daughter does.

[postage]

Nans have hard job – specially if they are young and working full time ----lol

[carrot99]

you are shattered but content and your daughter appreciates you but your son-in-law doesn't always seem to appreciate you - maybe he doesn't want you round his house every night and maybe your daughter should get him to help out instead of using you. Then you could visit as a nan and play with your grandchild instead of cleaning up after them.

[jackthehat]

Right..........revision of opinion...!!

You are being taken for a ride.
You are helping the parents NOT the child; that's not being a good Nan.......that's being a good Mum long after your daughter ought to have expectations of being looked after in that way.
I agree with carrot99 ^^

[Old_Geezer]

I understand children without Nans manage to survive.

Obviously it depends on one's personal priorities but I'd have thought taking as big an interest / involvement was a very self statsfying thing to do. when you've managed to reach an age where the Rat Race can go hang, what better than to help those around you ?

Not that I anticipate ever being a Nan.