i feel awful...

[leanne_1987]

my daughter is 3 and half but an extemely fussy eater, today i did rice and chicken for tea and sat at the table to eat it with her, she sat and refused out right crying in the end after 45 mins i said have one mouthful and you can get down from the table, so that is what she did, shes ust had a bath and got out asking for cake i told her no and that she could have porridge for supper but she refused and cried herself to sleep... i really cant take it anymore, i dont know what to do, somedays all she eats is dry bread and a few grapes.. shes loosing weight and i've been to doctors and seen the health visitor with no help!

[Canary42]

Get a referral from your GP - she (and you) needs professional attention, not a load of old wives' remedies.

[Maydup]

Icg - I think Leanne has done every thing she can and is not "pandering" to her daughter. She has tried the no-nappy approach until the poor kid was constipated, lets not have a go at her poor lass. Please take a momnet to read the OP again and see if its pandering.

There are a number of children who do fall into your category of fussy and spoiled, but this one is the exception. Leanne has a problem here and needs some support which I think she should get from the GP before the child gets an eating disorder.

Leanne - lay it on thick when you see the health visitor and if she cannot refer you to someone for support please go to the GP.

[Quassia]

Hi leanne,
to be honest I'd be inclined to let her have just what she wants. Take the pressure off meal times. I think truthfully, we can get hung up on what our child should be doing at certain stages. Eventually, with mixing, the child conforms more to what's going on around them .. they don't want to stand out from the crowd! As carmalee said ... it all sorts itself out in the end. Can you really see your daughter doing this when she's much older? I think the nappy thing will subside too eventually when all the stress of meal times is no longer an issue x

[lcg]

i did read the original post, maidup and i don't think a parent who necessarily lets their child even follow them to the toilet is one who is putting their foot down or asserting authority, which is what i think children need. i said to leanne (and not you) that she could take my opinion or leave it...and i suggest you do the same.

[leanne_1987]

an eating disorder is what i'm worried about it progressing into as some times she makes the noise like she is going to be sick when i put food in front of her, i dont let her see my anxiety, dont beg her to eat or get mad at her i stay as calm as possible, she isn't a spoilt kid, i've seen all the programmes and tried all the stuff they and the health visitor says try, i've done a food diary to show the health visitor but seems i'm being told the same things over and over again

[Quassia]

Does she do ta with the foods on her 'like' list or the foods that she's not too keen on leanne?

[Quassia]

'that'

[leanne_1987]

Lcg she doesnt always follow me the the toilet its what i was told to let her do to try and help her understand and to show her it doesnt hurt and that there isnt nothing to worry about

[boxtops]

The health visitor seems to have run out of idea then - as we've said, go to the GP, that's what they are there for!

[leanne_1987]

yes sometimes she does, shes gone 3 days before without eating a thing and filling herself up on water, she doesnt drink fruit uice but i was told to change it to water as it is flavourless and she will be more likely to eat, We have even been to parent toddler cooking groups and she helps me prepare the meals but as soon as its cooked and put in front of her its a completely different story

[leanne_1987]

thank you all, i'm going to make an appointment with my GP tomorrow see what they have to say this time, do you think they will be offended if i ask to be reffered? i dont know what to say, hes heard i all before off me and knows i'm worried

[Quassia]

Let her have the things she 'does' like & will eat more readily. I think she 'is' picking up on the 'need' to eat. x

[lcg]

ok, leanne. but i do disagree with the star charts, fluffery and bribery that health visitors and the like go in for. i think those reward fuss and 'bad' attention. she is your child, you know what is best for her - stop giving her too many choices as they just confuse children of that age. you say she is an intelligent child - so be clear about what is expected of her, do not give in and persevere for a longer time...weeks not swapping from one system to another. have faith in yourself and it will work, you just have to be strict. i had to listen to my son scream at night for six weeks before he finally got the message that he wasn't going to sleep in my bed. it's not fun, but it does work x

[whiskeysheri]

I'm with Jenna, try and find Jo Frost's Extreme Parenting on 4OD. The little boy on there was eating proper meals within days. Brilliant.

[LoftyLottie]

Can I just add that don't make a big issue about mealtimes. My son was the fussiest eater imaginable but ate much better when he was given a tray with food on it to eat on his own without being watched by an anxious Mum. It doesn't matter a jot at that age that they don't sit a a table with other people to eat. That will come later in life.

My son existed on yoghurt, apples and bread and Marmite for quite a while with fruit juice and water. He is a very healthy man who eats everything these days, except cheese and eggs.





Don't make an issue out of mealtimes

[fairycakes69]

I would ask to see a different doctor , doctors like the rest of us have different ideas, is there one who has children? I know of some one close who knew there was something wrong with their child the doctor said it was an ear infection, mum wasn't happy, demanded to see another doctor, who sent the child for tests, she was found to have a brain tumour. Got treated and all is ok, but you sometimes have to push for another doctor. Good luck

[momcj]

Sorry but i havent read all answers on here so sorry if im repeating anything. Regarding the original question about food, fromthe list of food you gave later on i dont think its that bad, at least she is eating good things as well i.e fruit. i would not force her to eat anything she doesnt (not saying you do) Keep trying new things as there tastes often change, maybe try to get her to have a bite of ur food. I think if its made in to a big deal they dig there heels in. i always said to my daughter if u try it and dont like it thats fine, but just try it. Sometimes she likes it, sometimes she didnt. as someone posted might be nice idea to get her involved in making it-pizzas etc

[momcj]

sorry one thing does she drink milk, or like yoghurts, cheese? She may need more calcium, going by your list of foods she likes. If you are worried she is not getting all right vits etc you can get chewy vitamins for 3 yr olds. Also if she starts nursery you may find she eats more there and tries things at snack time.

[Captin Kirk]

Slighty off topic but just a little anecdote regarding my frustration with our now 7 yr old daughter's trouble with eating in her younger years. I quite clearly remember my frustration boiling over and grabbing the bag of BirdsEye potato shapes she seemed to solely live on at the time and marching through the lounge, opening the patio door and launching the bag as far as I found physically possible down the garden and quite calmly telling her that there would be no more of those until her eating changed.

Fortunately our garden is rather long so they didn't quite clear the bottom fence into the neighbouring garden.

Immuture behaviour on my part I know which my wife still enjoys winding me up about years later but goes to show the worries and frustrations that go with childhood eating.