sex

[magicdice]

why is it that it's okay for a teenage girl to go round to her boyfriend's house for hours at a time during the day and evening, yet when it comes to sleeping over, that's totally out of the question?

what is there that you think we'll do at night that we won't do during the day? is sex a purely night-time thing when you get older?

i really cannot understand the logic, and would love to be enlightened as to why

[secretspirit]

My friends and I always thought it was hilarious that parents thought you could only have sex at night, I completely see what you mean. Don't enlighten them though or you'll end up with a chaperone 24/7!!!!!

[sasserina]

Andy Hughes...fantastic  answer and how true !!!

[Hgrove]

This reminds me of something typical of the generation before mine.  I told my mum that I thought the cat might be pregnant and she asked me if I thought it might have happened that night when she did not come home!

[smudge]

Hear, hear Andy!

[ursula62]

It's not so much that adults think you can only have sex at night... it's more perhaps that they don't really approve of you having sex, but they don't want to tell you that in so many words. And they feel that if they don't know about it then it's not really happening.

Yes, at any time of the day you could be "doing it" but if you and your boyfriend sleep together in the same bed at night at your house then your parents would feel are condoning your actions.

You're right, it *IS* illogical, but many fathers can be illogical about their teenage (and even older) daughters. The film "The father of the Bride" wasn't too far from the truth!  

[FP]

As a parent, I would feel it embarrassing if my son and girlfriend shared a bed under my roof.  I don't know why - it's not that I don't approve of them having sex, I just don't want it to happen whilst I am about!   I think it might be something to do with the fact that us Mum's can't even really let go of the apron strings and cannot really accept that our offspring have actually grown up.

 

Andy's reply is, as usual, brilliant.

[barender]

Of course adults know you can do it 24/7. (Perhaps that's why there are so many unmarried mothers nowadays! )

But seriously, it is about respect. Even when I was married, we just didn't 'do it' when staying at their house. 

I agree with ursula62 - if you're told it's okay to sleep over, (unless it's in separate rooms) then you're basically condoning it and then who picks up the pieces if something goes wrong? I don't just necessarily mean the obvious, but the emotional aspect when you split up and you've been allowed to behave like a married couple.

(Although you'll never understand while you are a teenager, you may one day if you have children of your own.)

[l_h_kings]

My Mum and Dad are from that same school of thinking. My sister is 30, a career woman and lives with her boyfriend of 5 years, engaged to be married in 6 months. When the stay at my mum and dad's house they have to have separate rooms. I avoided this craziness by marrying my husband young.

You will just have to make sure you get all the sex you want in daylight hours.

[Momof2]

Parents don't wnat to see their "little" girl grow up. About three years ago my parnets allowed for my boyfriend and I to drive to our shore house for vaction a few days after them because school was not released yet. They allowed for him to stay for the week but under the circumstances we sleep in different rooms, okay fine. We respected their wishes, although we were sexually active, even though our parents did not condon it, "sex" can happen anywhere at anyime. But reguardless of how we felt nd thought was right, we respected my parents wishes and slept in differnet areas of the house. When we wanted to take a nap in the afternoon, they would allow for us to share a bed, although something coukd of happened then, we knew they would know if something did. We decided against it because we didn't want to be embarassed if caught or heard. Soemtimes, it's not about what they feel is right or wrong, they are just trying to do what is best for us.

[Shellywba]

I take it you have the same problem as me then eh?

I spend all evenings at my boyfriends house, and most weekend days and nights, but when I ask my dad if I can sleep over, he has a fit and says no.

I can understand why he does so - I am 16 and my boyfriend is 24. They get on like a house on fire, but dad is still oh so protective of me.

I don't understand it neither - I think it's their way of protecting you, but parents have to understand they were young once, too.

[curiosity]

If they didn't care you would be more puzzled and upset. It's one of those grey areas that fade into clarity (I know what I mean). Andy Hughes answer is it.

[Adampy]

Hmm during the day, its more likly that there will be others about, such as parents, to keep an eye on you both therefor hindering your chances of getting a little nookie!! But at night, you will be alone. I still belive its the parents house and their rules. My mom used to say "Whilst you live under my roof, you obey my rules!"

This all goes back to respecting your parents wishes.