parental designs!

[mr. piper]

Has anyone else let down their parents that always wanted you to be a doctor lawyer etc. or take over the family lace hankie factory. yet you dug your heels in and did your own things?

My dad taught me to be a builder and i have, over the years gone back to it when my kids were born, but i would never have stuck it out for ever. My parents hated what i did for a living and were delighted by my elder brother being a fireman. I am trying not to do this with my lads but i do worry how they will get on when i am gone, and i do keep suggesting careers for them.

[tetherend]

I really wanted to go into the probation service, and was offered a job at Wormwood Scrubs.  My dad absolutely hit the roof and told me that no daughter of his was going to work in a prison.  He even phoned the prison and told them just that!  I still cringe when I see a picture of the prison on the TV. I'm involved in similar work now but wish I had dug my heels in then.

[ALLO]

the day i got married, i let my mom down. my familly never came to my wedding. not like it was big. we did it all in 3 days. i asked him to marry me, we got are rings, and got married in the justice of the peace. took ten minutes! now it's been almost 4 yrs and we have 2 kids. my mom is starting to come around. she's still hurt though. just that we wouldn't wait longer. but we're still in love! thats all that matters!

[crazy4cute]

Hello I am only a child but I  think I have an idea. I think that you should let your children do whatever thay want when they decide to get a job and support them all the way no matter what they do because when your parents wanted to decide your job it probably wasn't very nice for you and even though your parents brought you up this way, you would probably have preffered it if they let you decide and supported you in your decided career, so give your children the freedom you didn't have.

[kick3m0n]

I thank my lucky stars that my parents were cool enough to let my brother and I chose our own paths in life, and never once put pressure on us to do anything, even if it didn't always go along with how they were brought up.   They were always proud of whatever we did, and always supportive.  I am determined to be the same with my son, and any siblings he may have.  I don't see the point in having children, just to try to mould them into what you want (or worse, what you wanted to be when you were young).  Isn't part of the joy of children that they are their own people, not carbon copies of their parents.  If you bring your kids up well, with decent values and love and support, you don't need to run their lives for them, they will be well equipped to do it themselves.  You have to just trust that you've done your job well, and let them get on with life.

[snoteater]

Well stop it now.

[Jet]

All parents want what's best for their children, and have their own idea's on what would be a suitable career choice.  However, as a child, and an individual, you are entitled to do what you want with your life, otherwise - it isn't your life!  Don't feel bad for not pleasing your parents, as long as you pleased yourself, that's the main thing - why would you want to do a job that made you miserable?  If you went on a killing spree, were adicted to drugs and robbed people for money to pay for your habit, then yes, parents would have something to be ashamed about, however, making your own career choice, is a hard enough decision, without parents getting on at you. 

I would recommend that you play an interested part in your children's education, make suggestions and give ideas, but don't enforce them on your children, support them in their decision, as one day when they finally make their choice, they will be adults, and you will have done your job of raising children who can make decisions and not rely on others all the time to tell them what to do.  Jet

[Lil-Ol-Me]

Well I have always been the black sheep of the family! My parents... in particular my dad, hated me drawing even as a child always telling me I should read a book and get some knowledge! Years later you can imagine their desapair when I announced to them that I (as a single parent) was giving up my job in an office to go to art school full-time! They gave me grief all the way through my degree, however were beaming with pride when I received my degree in my cap and gown! Since then I have never looked back and my advise to anyone is 'parents are not always right!' Art to me is a true vocation and I don't know how to be anything but creative. Working in an office was totally soul destroying for me, art breathes life into me... what more could any parent want than to see their daughter happy and feeling fulfilled??!!