Disturbing grand parent

[smilingcrow]

I saw something the other day that really disturbed me. Basically my sons grand parent an old guy touched my sons penis and waggled it from side to side saying "what is this? What is this". My son is 3. Quite a lot Of my wife's family members were there and no one batted an eyelid. Thankfully my son won't be seeing this guy for a long time. I was really gob smacked when I saw this and I now hate the guy. Maybe it's because they are a different culture???
People are not supposed to touch children's genitals simple apart from washing obviously. Am I over reacting?

[pips1]

I agree with bednobs, it all depends on whether the child was naked to start with.

[ojread2]

Well, OP?
How and why did this man get this child's penis to waggle about?
Frustrating.com

[NOX]

I just noticed this is another of smilingcrow's questions- they are frequently unusual and he often doesn't come back to update you on what you've said.

[ELVIS68]

My wife does this to me everytime she sees me naked.

Can I report her? :o)

[jno]

perhaps you should just tell her, Elvis?

[ojread2]

Indeed, Nox. There may also have been the language barrier to consider

[Sqad]

Paedophilia, hardly comes into the question..........in fact doesn't come into it at all.........what this OP wants to know is if this is NORMAL behaviour and the definition of normal being that the majority of grandparents would do this sort of thing and in my opinion, the majority of grandparents WOULDN'T..

To Boxy, NOX ey al.....how can you be sure that the grandfather isn't getting some sexual satisfaction from this act?
One doesn't have to be a raging paedophile to get satisfaction from playing with a child's genitalia.

One would be surprised at what goes on in "normal" families.

[jno]

One doesn't have to be a raging paedophile to get satisfaction from playing with a child's genitalia.

erm... if you say so. I would have thought you did have to be, because that's more or less what paedophilia means, seeking sexual satisfaction from children.

[ojread2]

You can't, sqad. But neither can you go screaming paedophile, paedophile when as you say, "One would be surprised at what goes on in "normal" families"

We aint gunna find out anyhoo

[Sqad]

jno..........a paedophile, in my book, NEEDS sexual satisfaction from children and in a more extreme dimension than "waggling a child's willy," but if you would like to include the latter in your definition,then although not agreeing,would accept your inclusion.

[anneasquith]

totally inappropriate behaviour in any culture IMO .

[horseshoes]

It doesn't seem to be sinister, but if YOU, as the parents, are uncomfortable with it then you should have a word. Personally I think the grand-dad will be mortified knowing that it has been mis-interpreted. I do agree, though, that if he undressed the boy purposely in order to do it, then that probably IS weird.

[jackthehat]

The child's grandparents are Chinese.
Who knows, here, quite what is acceptable tomfoolery between Chinese family members and their small children/grandchildren?

It doesn't seem that it is any cause for concern, as far as I can see.

The young fella is going to grow up with far more challenges to overcome than this brief episode will leave........

[smilingcrow]

He had just walked out of the loo with his trousers down so half naked. I agree with you Andy and thanks for that. Its inconceivable it could be anything sexual but what really gets me is he will think it is normal practice for people to touch his penis which could have all sorts of consequences.

[tinkerbell23]

Err. Id be uncomfortable with that, and i wouldnt like it to happen again!!

But in this case, i think its been a case of "why have you got your pants down, whats this" kind of scenario.... Sometimes people say "oh i can see your bum" etc....

I wouldnt like it, but i dont think there was anything sexual in this case. Suppose youve always got to be aware smilingcrow havent you xxxx

[Kiki-frog]

I can see that you might be a bit disturbed by this, but it's probably best not to make to great an issue of it. It's highly unlikely that your son will have any recollection of this in later life, or be psychologically damaged by it. Did he seem upset by the incident? If not, then it's not going to be an issue with him. But, as others have said, if you haven't already discussed it with your wife, then it's best to do so. Some families are more open about nudity than others - maybe that's just the way her family is. But it's disturbed you, so it does need to be discussed.

[Mamyalynne]

Whilst I agree that this was an unfortunate incident, though unlikely to be sinister - given that the lad is now 3, try to teach him to pull up pants before leaving the loo.

[Baldric]

//Some families are more open about nudity than others//

Does grabbing a childs genitalia come under 'open'

Most child abuse is committed by a family member, not an outsider.

[ladybirder]

smilingcrow says what really gets me is he will think it is normal practice for people to touch his penis which could have all sorts of consequences

I agree sc, that would worry me too.

[sandyRoe]

Out of curiosity, in what culture would this behaviour be considered acceptable?