Locking Escaping toddler in room at night

[numnum]

As I've discussed many time here my 2 year old is a handful and nothing works.

Its now been over a year now of him escaping from his room and trying everything that we can think or have read about I think the last resort now is locking him in his room.

A stairgate at the door is no use as he can climb over them. Tried him in our bed but thats just starting bad habbits and because he doesnt like us touching him he doesn't cuddle in he just goes hyper. We made a bed on the floor in our room for him but thats no use as he gets hyper and again starting bad habbits. I've marched him back to his room but that goes on for hours and doesnt seem to work. The list goes on.

I know there will be mixed opinions about this but has anyone else done everything they can and had to use this as a last resort?

[HowardKennitby]

Can you not organise something so that he is tired when he goes to bed?

[sherrardk]

I remember some of your previous posts. Personally, I don't think this is a good plan (the message it sends to your son, safety, etc). You really do need to find out what the underlying problems are, not look for quick fixes (I appreciate you must be at the end for your tether to be considering this and that I am not in your shoes).

[cathfromsaron]

we have cretainly used a stairgate as a first resort, to ensure nothing can happen when we are asleep, and i think they are handy so the kids can safely play whilst you are dressing etc!

have you tried a 'dog' stairgate? they tend to be taller.

BUT i would attempt to get advice on assertive parenting and hyperactivity from the local health centre. i do sympathise, but this can get better with the right help!

[bednobs]

you an get extra tall stairgates

[Zacs-Master]

What's his typical daytime activities?

[numnum]

he's been seeing the behaviour department at the local hospital and all they really said was to carry on what we're doing and try to stay calm and that everything we're doing sounds like we're on the right track. Also, because he's 2 they dont think theres much tips they can give because of his age at the moment and i've also tried everything.

there is no pattern to when hes tired and its very difficult to get calmness because he wont sit, doesn't like being held/touched so any of the normal things you would want to do he seems to be one step ahead of us.

i can have him doing things all day and he can escape for 2-3 hours. if i have a lazy day in the house he might just escape 5 or so times. he stopped his daysleep the a couple of weeks ago and that didn't help either. he still escaped.

he can climb a four foot fence just by getting his hands on the top and climbing over so nothing seems to work. we extended our stairgate with poles and i watched him wrap his toes round the bars and climb over it that way!!!

[sherrardk]

I wouldn't like being locked in a room, I would have thought it would make him more hyper/upset.

[numnum]

we are busy nearly everyday and he's outside most days.

we have a big garden we spend a lot of time in or up the fields by our house. he is a very active boy and i like to keep him busy. theres local toddlers which he gets a good run about and theres always birthday parties at the local indoor football court which he gets a lot of running about there.

he's got a good diet but thinking to keep a food diary to see if there is anything that sets him off more than other foods

[carolegif]

Put door handle on upside down so you have to pull the handle up instead of down. Worked a treat with my two when they were young and just starting using a bed.

[numnum]

we've done that to stop him escaping out the house and he's sussed that one out

[sherrardk]

Regarding the front door - you really need to sort that out, surely you an put a bolt on the top of it?

[bednobs]

how handy are you? Could you raise the door handle, so he can't reach it? How tall is he that he can open it upwards anyway?!?!

[numnum]

he's quite long for a year old so can reach our door handles easily. he's just an inch or so shorter than some of my friends 3 and 4 year olds.

thankfully the door to our porch is jammed and nealry all doors have a snib lock at the top now that we have added about a year ago. he can get out our livingroom window. i feel that some days just going for a pee i've to check all doors, its like nicole kidman in the others wehre she goes about locking and unlocking doors!!!

hes broke the locks a few times by shaking the doors that much in a tantrum its pulled it out by the screws. he's a strong little man

[sherrardk]

Hi num, you really have got to get to the bottom of what makes him behave like this (I know you are trying). I am just concerned (you must be worried sick) that he will hurt himself or get out of the house (you can't watch him 24/7). x

[EDDIE51]

i was going to suggest putting high locks on the front and back doors , but I see you have done that. You need a secure lock on the window to stop him getting out that way , so at least you can be safe in the knowledge that he can't get outside.
Apart from that you need expert help that you don't seem to be getting at the moment. The not wanting to be touched is not normal and I am sure it is part of the problem ( or even the root of the problem) , what have the hospital said about that? To me it sounds as if he is in some way scared and wants to get away from you.

[naomi24]

Eddie, //To me it sounds as if he is in some way scared and wants to get away from you. //

I don't think that's fair at all - really I don't. I think you need specialist help numnum.

[daisya]

I wonder if your little boy has problems due to food additives. One colouring which is in a lot of things is E124 and not recommended for under three's. Have you checked all labels just to make sure? Only a thought if you are still having these problems with him.

[EDDIE51]

naomi, I was not suggesting that numnum is in any way a poor parent.
I was saying that the behaviour seems to me to indicate that the child has some irrational fear that he is trying to escape from. It could very well have nothing to do with his Mum , who is obviously a worried yet caring parent.
Thinking about this though I have to add that in my opinion locking him in his room will make things worse .

[sophie_1003]

We have an escapee joining my nursery in September; that should be interesting as our outside fences (to separate us from the rest of the school; not boundary fences) are only about 4ft high! As a comforter thing if he doesn't like being held would a weighted blanket help at all?