slapping

[justineo]

yesterday when I was waiting to pay for my shopping, a young woman slapped her daughter's legs pretty hard.  She was about 3.  I don't know what she had done but her screams brought all the shoppers and till assistants attention to it and we all stood around feeling awkward and sort of tutting and mumbling.  The woman told her daughter off and picked her up and walked off down an aisle. I know what its like to try to shop with young children but has anybody else been in this situation and thought about intervening?

[smudge]

Last summer when shopping, a Mother screamed, shouted & slapped her little boy so hard, that I gave her a filthy look & shook my head. She looked back at me & all the other people walking by & shouted to her son "Scream as much as you like & good job if you report me, at least I'll get a couple of years peace in prison"!

I was astounded as she & her friend burst out laughing & walked on leaving the little boy behind, screaming at the top of his voice.

Nice Mum! 

[smudge]

Oh, if I had intervened, I guarantee I would have ended up with a trip to the A&E!

[butter1]

The other week, my boyfriend and I was in the supermarket and we saw a mother grinding her teeth and had her face close up to her daughter's fing and blinding...and then she smacked her child so hard.... I think that is very bad parental skills.  I would only interven if I thought the child was in danger.

[Lillabet]

It's odd isn't it? If we saw an adult scream at and hit another adult we would probably be more confortable about calling the police to report an assault than when it is a toddler being hit.

I don't want to get into the whole should parents have a right to smack debate. But even those who argue that a smack can sometimes be necessary to reinforce that something is dangerous or very wrong could not in all likelihood defend actions such as those described.

What can a child do that warrants screaming and swearing into their face? Or chastising in such a temper that onlookers such as smudge fear getting involved for their own safety...

[smudge]

You're right Lillabet - both those women were really 'hard' looking & I didn't fancy a clump!

I can't imagine what that poor little boy has to suffer at home & God help him if his Father's just the same as his Mother!

[smudge]

You're right too Andy, I shook my head, but stayed quiet - very quiet!

[Bangkok]

I once intervened when a mother wsa knocking a young child around, and got a faceful of finger jabbing and a stream of abuse.  Then she carried on smacking the kid.  No idea what I would do next time.  Probably nothing, as it doesn't make a difference.

[Tracykj]

I was in town a couple weeks ago when I heard a woman yelling at her small child, she was using such foul language that I wanted to cringe telling him 'you're F*ing 3 years old, start F*ing acting like it!)  The poor thing was sobbing his heart out.  Now I hate to see a child being mistreated be it verbally or physically, so I spoke out, telling her that she should be the one looking at her own behaviour

Really though, it is such a shame that kids are not helped when we see this going on.  It is little wonder that they then grow up to use such foul and abusive behaviour as this is all they have known since they were tiny.  There's not a lot of hope for society really is there??

[sunflower68]

traceykj perhaps I am wrong to ask but what was the mother's reaction to you?

[trionam]

I witnessed an incident outside my local shop it wasnt me who intervened but my mother, i was sitting in the car waiting for her she got in the car and we both turned round to see a man lean in and smack his three old in the face for attempting to get out of his car seat while he had left him alone in the car the child proceeded to scream and he smacked him again on the head, I thought of my own toddler and I felt physically sick as did my mother who couldnt contain her anger, she roared at this man that he should be ashamed of himself that he was nothing but a bully ect,the man was too stunned to answer, in my eyes he couldnt defend his actions anyway,having said all this my mother realised when we drove off that it could have been dangerous to get involved but said she just couldnt stand by and say nothing.

[lizzierose]

all intervening is gonna do is make the parent even angrier and if they're hitting and screaming at their child already and in public I would dread to think what would happen in the home. Speaking out might make you feel better becuase you've not let it go by but it unfortunately will make beggar all difference. as much as we want them suddenly to see the error of their ways, I very much doubt that any of us is that good an orator

[justineo]

Thanks for all your answers.  My parents were brought up when it was acceptable to hit children in school, on the streets (clip round the ear from the local bobby etc) and in the home.  Today, I think, our attitudes have changed in public and in schools, sometimes to the point where teachers are scared to touch any pupil at all. But in the home children are still being beaten and abused, and they are dying every week from injuries inflicted by someone they know well.  I've no idea how to stop it but I know I can stop perpetuating it by having respect for children and being aware of what violence does to a young mind.  I've often heard people say, and I've probably said it myself, that children don't remember things."Oh don't worry, she'll forget about it" or "they'll get over it"  The strange thing is that childrens minds are clean and uncluttered by the crap that we've usually got by adulthood.  They remember everything, everything they've heard us say to them, every time we've shouted at them, evrything they've  seen. We should look after them. Thanks 

[catra1]

saw a woman throw her child violently to the ground after shaking him, a few of us interveened and it made the sitaution worse in a way "I can do what i want to my child" etc etc (child is still lying on the floor!) so we called the police who came and took the mother and the child away. Don't know what happened next but in hindsight I'd call the police immediatley instead of trying to talk to her as the child was a risk and there was very little I could do. I don't think I'd have my teeth if I'd attempted to go near the child, this woman was wild. It was interesting how many people just watched and didn't do anything- also in this case it was the women who intervened pretty immediatley and the men stayed seated and just watched (it was on a train).

[Scullywoo]

I probably couldn't resist a look but I wouldn't pass comment.  You don't know people's circumstances and it's up to them how they parent their child/children.  To be honest, sometimes children in this day and age need a swift short slap on the thigh.  My dad did the same to me when I was little (only when thoroughly deserved) and I had nothing but upmost respect for him and other elders around me.  Bring back the cane that's what I say!! 

[justineo]

Yeah, Scullywoo, I can remember my dad slapping me on the thigh as he was driving, and me and my bro and sis were arguing and messing around in the back.  I didn't feel any malice towards him because I thought I probably deserved it.  The problem with some of the children I see in shops is their age.  Sometimes no more than babies.  How much can they know about what's acceptable behaviour.  They've surely learned it from home.  What age do you think children understand enough to know what's expected from them?

[borg123]

I AM 38 YRS OLD AND MY PARENTS GAVE ME A belt around the ear when i was naughty--and it did me no harm ----but they only did it in moderation and only when i really deserved it  ---just my dad raising is voice was enough in most cases and i followed that on with my son and it works ----when a parent has to go to extremes to keep their child in order --i think  the parent has lost the respect and the control of his/her child.

[borg123]

i hope you can read the answer above as on the upload everthing got jumbled somehow.