Single child or sibling/s?

[cre]

Is it better to have/be a single child or not? I am one of three and wouldn't have it any other way, but my husband and his brother barely talk. My father hated being an only child. What are your views???

[butter1]

I have an older brother.  Sometimes I think it would have been nicer to have a larger family.  I think 3 or 4 children would be quite nice.  I wouldn't like to be the only child, just for the fact I think I would be lonely.

[Glossopswift]

I'm one of 2 and�Mrs Glossopswift is oneof 2 and we both thought that to be theperfect number. We decided to try for asecond child to continue this idyllic number and now we have twin boys! Hopefully each of our kids will thinkthat being one of three is best. I don't think I would have liked to have been an only child, but that's just me.

[libertie]

I have a younger brother, and to be honest we fought like cat and dog when we were growing up, but are close now.  We both have 2 children each. My best friend is an only child and she says that she did'nt really mind not having brothers or sisters as she had lots of cousins etc.  She has always maintained that an only child is not necessarily a lonely child!

[Solarjunkie]

Two kids are great - one arm goes around each of them!

There is often an inherent selfishness to an only child, because once they are home, all the toys are theirs! My only child husband was baffled by our sons squabbling over their toys, while I was pleased that they learnt how to deal with such little disputes.

Every family I know with three children has the situation where two of them pair up, and they are fine, but the third one feels an outsider and can be lonely.

Every situation has its pros and cons, but in an ideal world, I would always plump for a boy, followed about two years later by a girl - taking into account their different rates of maturing, they have a good chance of being on a similar level most of their childhood. And when they're grown, they should each have same sex friends for their sibling to meet!

[ICEMANSAV]

I am an only child, the benefits far out weigh the negatives I would say. It depends on the parenting though as some can be attention seeking in their approach and others can be to shy and reseved. The parents need to address that balance and it would be more difficult in a lot of respects bringing up a single child.

[jean88]

I am one of the four and we used to fight all the time at anything and we are still not that close. I think it depends on the parents or kids. I have two myself, I thought that was a good ideal at the time because two is company and one is lonely. But they fight all the time, dont know must be in the genes. They love each other really....I think...Bringing up kids is hard work, it also depends how the parent can cope with number of kids.

[boobesque]

its one of the unanswerables! like what age gap is best, its all down to fluke!!

[silly moo]

I am the middle one of 3 and hated it as a child.
Now I get on really well with older sister, but hardly ever see / speak to younger brother.
Mr sillymoo is 1 of 6 !!!!!!!!

We have 2 , same sex and very close in age.

Children (and animals) don't usually play in 3's. Also age differences affect sibling relationships much more when young; as we grow the age difference seems to be less of an issue.

[kick3m0n]

put it this way, I haven't met anyone in my life that loved being an only child.  My parents were both only children and both hated it - it was lonely, their was a greta deal of expectation on their shoulders and also, the only child which my grandparents could rely on in later life.  Mum did this willingly (and we helped), but it was a real pressure on her, having no siblings to help out now and then.  The only plus side is that my brother and I were the only grandchildren in the family, no cousins to share our grandparents with, which was great!   But seriously, a couple of my lifelong pals were only children and now have 3 and 4 kids respectively, having vowed to never put their offsrping thru only-child-hell, which they hated.

[Dark Angel]

I would imagine its not very nice being a single child. I say imagine because I have four siblings. Its nice to have someone to play with when you're younger, and when you're older its nice to do things together and spend time with your siblings as well. Having a sibling/siblings is to have company and support.

[Dark Angel]

*** having a sibling/siblings means you have company and support.

[Gef]

Obviously solarjunkie has not met my family. I have three grown up kids (22, 24 & 26) and they are the best of friends. Occasional squabbles when younger but that would happen with 2, 4 or 5 kids.

[acw]

Only does NOT mean lonely.  I had FRIENDS!!!!  My cousins lived miles away.  However I was brought up to be friendly and outgoing so I made friends easily.  It's not an isolated life. 

I think the time when being an only child gets tough is when your own parents start to get old.  My Mum and Dad are both only children.  It puts a lot of strain on them.  My Nana died 2 years ago after a long and painful struggle with Alzheimer's.  Not having a sibling to share it with made it very hard for her, although Dad and I did our best.  It's similar for my Dad as his parents are both ill.  My Mum's Dad has cancer - when he goes downhill that will also be VERY tough as we're a close family - being such a small family. 

Anyway - this was not meant to be a "pity me" post.  In fact I wanted to be positive.  If you live near other kids, and will be flexible in letting your child play with other children, then an only child is fine.  The older/oldest child is always an only child for a while anyway!!!

I had a happy childhood and never felt I needed a sibling to make my life complete.  Nor was a spoilt - I earnt everything I got.  It's perfectly possible to raise an only child without them becoming a spoiled brat.  Any comments that all only children are spoiled is RUBBISH.  :-p

[Emily Ball]

I agree totally with icemansav and acw on this one. My granddaughter is an only child and throughout her life I can say that she has been an absolute pleasure to have around. She is kind-hearted, extremely well-behaved and has lots of friends. Her parents are well aware how lucky they are to have such a smashing daughter and love her dearly. That's not to say she gets indulged-in fact I have never known her to whine after anything like toys or the latest trainers or whatever. I would go so far as to say that she's more entertaining and droll to be with than a lot of adults. I've never asked her whether she would have liked brothers or sisters but then she has never given the slightest indication that she is unhappy being an only child and I'm sure she would have told me so had she been. 

[catra1]

Its difficult for anyone to answer this. My brother and I are close and I am glad I have him in my life although when I was little I remember thinking how great it was when there were just the three of us (MUM DAD ME).
I am planning on just having the one- most of my friends have had one and the a couple of years later wanted to try for a second even though they only wanted one to start with! hormones ehhh?

Catra

[kat_giggle]

I loved being an only child and although often I'd ask Mum for a baby brother I had a happy and full childhood.  However, when my Dad passed away at the age of 50 (I was 22) I really did miss the support of siblings, It's very hard to look after a parent who has suffered such a great loss at an early age and looking after Mum took over my life for a couple of years.  I now have a three month old daughter and I definately want her to have brothers and sisters because I love her too much to put her through the same thing as me.