separation anxiety

[jjc9]

My daughter, Agnes Uma, is 22 months old. Her first two days at the Playschool were not bad. After a short while she went in without too much fuss. There were a little bit of tears, but as soon as she started playing with the toys she stopped crying and settled down.
On the third day the help at the centre took Agnes from the arms of her mother without allowing any time for either to come to terms with the separation. On the fourth day Agnes refused to leave the car, but both of us managed to take her in. There we spent twenty minutes for her to quieten down, and when she did she went with her mother into the playroom. On the fifth day, she just would not get out of the car. We finally gave up and brought her home.
Tomorrow is her next day at playschool. What can we do as parents, since the school rules do not permit parents entering the classroom area?

[icklepickle]

I feel for you I really do.  I used to be a nursery teacher and have witnessed this scene many times.  The best advice I can offer is 1) talk to her - when she's sitting having breakfast talk to her about what she'd like to do at school that day, what toys/children she'd like to play with etc 2) Make sure she is aware of where she is going. whether you walk to nursery or drive talk to her the whole time point out interesting things ie Theres the postman do you think we'll see him on our way home later.  She will understand that you will be coming back for her and it builds routine for the following days. 3) Make frinds with other parents whose children have just started you will find that it is them your daughter is playing with at nursery get them to come round for a play time at your house or take the children to the park together, children form very close relationships at nursery and this will help with anxiety when they go into school. 4) Don't let them think you are doing anything special while they are not around - you know granny visiting, favourite auntie/cousin coming over etc 

I know there are people out there who will say i'm wrong, but in every nursery I worked this strategy always paid off and with my own son when he started to fret going to nursery. Be patient and don't worry 9 times out of 10 the child is fine as soon as the doors are closed and the parent is the one who spends longer upset . Good luck

[silly moo]

Do you not think that maybe 22months is too young for playschool?
If it is a day nursery used because you both work you obviously need to persevere and find a solution, but if it is just playschool then maybe a mother and toddler group would be better - at least until your daughter is about 3 years old.
Don't mean to sound judgemental here so please don't take offence.
Possible solution to childcare whilst at work could be a childminder?

[Cheekyteddy]

Hi jjc9, If you want your little one to go to playschool then I think the advice given by Ickle pickle is great. I have had 4 children go through playschool, nursery and childminders and all can produce the same reaction.

You need to persevre along the lines ickle has explained and I think all will be well.

I am a bit surprised at the no parents in the classroom/nursery I thought all places like this had an open door policy and I would be a little uncomfortable with this policy but presumably you have visited.

Good Luck

[kazzareee]

Sorry if this is a bit late, just been scrolling through to while away some time!

My daughter was awful to leave at Pre-school, even though the staff were brilliant, she cried inconsolably for weeks. In the end, I took her into a haberdashers and said we were going to buy a 'magic button'. She chose a large, pearly, mystical-looking one and a piece of ribbon in her favourite colour. Over the weekend, I explained to her that she could take the button into Pre-school with her, in her pocket, and whenever she was feeling sad and was missing me, she could hold the button and I would be thinking about her. I also let her know I was doing boring things at home - ironing or hoovering, so she thought she wasn't missing out on anything!

When we went to Pre-school next, she was quite excited about her button and I explained to the staff what she had and also told them quite firmly that they were to allow her to keep it with her at all times.

This worked a treat and we never looked back. I realise this may not work for every child and my daughter was a bit older - just 3 at the time, but when they get so upset, anything is worth a try!  Good luck.