Sex Education, 4 Year Olds, Opinions??

[numnum]

Me and a friend are quite shocked at a mutual friend teaching her 4 year old the birds and the bees and letting her watch programmes like One Born Every Minute and showing her labour videos on you tube to explain things

We only found out about it because the nursery class were playing Mummies and Daddies and were being very in depth about babies and actually played out a birth scene.

This past week we've heard that her daughter has mentioned at nursery her mummy isn't pregnant because she's still bleeding.

Me and my friend find its a bit young to be going this depth into things. We'd be interested to hear other parents opinions?

[ummmm]

I think each to their own.

[2sp_]

I don't think I'd be comfortable with my knowing about or discussing my menstrual cycle with her nursery school friends...

#1 daughter is 3 and has witnessed various species of animal having sex around the farm. We don't purposely show her, but if a cockerel gets frisky with a hen when she's outside, or she sees the bull serving a cow, we don't rush her away. She has asked me what they are doing and I've said that they are making babies.

She seems happy enough with that.

[numnum]

Thats what I'd be like 2sp.

If she asks about where babies are from I'd say Mummies tummy I wouldnt avoid it and I wouldn't go and show her graphic labour videos.

[2sp_]

I agree. If and when the kids ask anything I'll tell them as honestly and appropriately as possible, but I doubt I'd be showing them labour videos at such a young age.

I just wonder if they would be scared by the blood and gore, and by the obvious pain that the woman is in! Not keen on watching these things myself!

[starone]

I am very old and when I was young was told nothing. I had to find it out myself which in my opinion is wrong. I remember seeing someone masturbating when I was about 12 and when I asked my mother what it was she said that was how men behaved. I thought all men did this in public from then on and was absolutely scared stiff. It was years before I realised it was not so. I have also watched a young friend with her two children who have been brought up to know that sex is a natural thing. They are lovely natural children and I only wish that I had had the same knowledge as they have. My life would have been much more enjoyable.

[sara3]

I'd be more concerned why a 4 year old is watching a programme that's on between 9-10pm.

[sherrardk]

I think that this is sharing too much. I have five year olds and they wouldn't understand the concept of sex and definitely wouldn't want to watch OBEM (or me).

[MissCommando]

sara3, perhaps the mother is recording it and letting her watch it during the day.

[numnum]

Thats like me sherrardk. They can barely read or write and to add this to there learning is a big thing.

I think an age appropriate answer till they can understand properly and not avoid the subject.

[FredPuli43]

I think seeing a woman giving birth, as in One Born could be very disturbing for a young child, particularly as that programme tends to pick out difficult births or difficult mothers. Blimey, grown men look ill watching !

Witnessing, say, a kitten , puppy, or foal being born, as many a young country child does, is quite another matter. The animal mothers don't make as much fuss (with good reason; humans are badly designed for birth !) and seeing that is wondrous.

[Kleiber]

I agree with you, 2sp. I think it's great that children are brought up to understand that sex is natural and about what happens during a birth, but I do think that 4yrs old is far too young to be given the sort of detail that your friend is giving, numnum. If a child is brought up in a stable family unit, with loving parents (and I mean any sort of family unit here), then they will grow up understanding these things and they are learned as part of growing up, not thrust on them when they should be just enjoying being children.

[MyBlackHen]

FGS, let them be kids for a while.

[ST24]

You don't mention anything about what the 4-year-old-teaching-friend is telling her child about how old she needs to be before she can have sex. I would think that would be much more important than acquainting the child with the physics of birth etc.
I think it's important to teach children about sex in a loving relationship. I had to find out most things for myself and was never taught anything about relationships. My life would have been completely difference with proper knowledge about sex and relationships.
I think it's also important not to judge people by one's own standards. Everyone has different experiences in their lives and needs to decide as much as they can for themselves and up to a certain age for their children.

[Caran]

I remember asking my mother where babies come from when I was about 10ish
She said I'll tell you when you are older. That was the extent of my sex education. When she tried to tell me about periods she omitted to tell me where I would bleed from. I imagined it spurting from my face, arms, legs anywhere.

[Sharingan]

I think that's perfectly reasonable. I don't actually recall a time when I didn't know how babies were born etc. I think the earlier things are explained and the more matter of factly they are the better imho, but I don't actually recall set learning of being sat down and made to watch videos although I do remember seeing a birth video when I was quite little. I assume the teaching element arose because I asked something, but when and what I couldn't tell you as I was quite small, but no harm done i';m not traumatised about much xx

[JonnyBoy12]

In my humble opinion this is far too young for them to be taught this sort of thing. They grow up fast enough as it is and will be exposed to sex education (official and unofficial) throughout the rest of their lives.

Let them enjoy their childhood unsullied as long as they can.

Hope this helps.