Bi-Sexual Daugter

[daddylonglegs]

My 14 year old daughter has just came out as being bi-sexual, she has been hanging around with another girl who is also bi-sexual, the trouble is I've found out through facebook that this girl is in fact an adult she is 18. I've tried explaining to my daughter that I don't think she should be hanging around with her as she is 18, my daughter thinks I'm being ridiculous but I know for a fact they fancy each other because my daughter has told me, I've spoke to my daughter and said if anything were to happen this girl would be breaking the law, my daughter thinks I'm only acting this way because I'm homophobic (I'm not at all but if I'm honest it has came as a shock but I will love and support her no matter what) what do I do or say now?

[jennyjoan]

Think your daughter is far too young to even know her sexuality at the moment.

[inksplotter]

Dunno, Jenny, 14...

[daddylonglegs]

Yes I have already told her that.

[inksplotter]

It's not a good idea to tell teenagers their feelings! Suggest it, by all means.

[pixie373]

I think you just need to reassure her, that you have no problem with it- it was just unexpected, as you've said here. She'll need to know that isn't what you are worried about, but you would be worried about her being taken advantage of whether she was with a male or female.
I don't know if she will stop seeing her, just because you want her to, but be careful what you say anyway to keep the lines of communication open. I would give her the same spiel I would if she had a boyfriend about not feeling pressured, etc.

[Prudie]

I'd probably try to approach it from the viewpoint that gender irrelevant, a 14 year old girl with an 18 year old of either sex is not appropriate and hope that she would respect your authority in that. I don't envy you however.

[Peaspeculiars]

Just be there for her like you have already said daddylonglegs. She has probably known for a while that she is bisexual, or she may just want to explore her feelings with this girl if she looks up to her and wants to be like her. Either way, I imagine she came out with the 'you're homophobic' response as she is still young and probably is embarrassed about her parent mentioning sex - as any teenager usually is - and just wanted the conversation to stop there. She won't suddenly run off and start doing bad things, she has just fallen for a girl, just like most teenage girls fall for a boy.
Try and be relaxed about it, perhaps saying that they would be breaking the law came across as a threat, as one would assume by 14 she is well aware of this fact already. Sit back and be there if it all ends in tears, she'll be doing her GSCE's whilst her friend will be moving into new circles and getting a job soon so it may fizzle out, or it may work, either way just love her none the less :o)

[cupid04]

Just be there for her. The more you show your disproval of her 18 year old friend...the more your daughter will dig her heels in.

[EcclesCake]

Is she actively bi-sexual or just making a teenage statement of her sexuality for effect?

I certainly came out with all sorts of tosh at her age and didn't really understand what I was saying!

Is she actually in a relationship with the other girl or is she just copy-chatting her her older, cooler idol?

[pixie373]

No! Definitely don't tell her how she feels. If that's true, she'll have to work that out herself. She may well know.

[Quizmonkey]

No-one can comment on whether she's 'old enough' without knowing her very well! There is no such thing as a typical 14, 15 or 16 year old. Some 15yos are far more capable of a relationship than many 30yos. Just be supportive, and thankful that she feels so close that she can be honest with you.