Letter In The Telegraph Today.
News0 min ago
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For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.I have a 7 year old daught plus two older step daughters and having kids around just brightens my day....every day. Of course kids are a big commitment both finnancially and emotionally but the pros far outweigh the cons. Unfortunately, kids don't come with instruction manuals and everyone has a different approach to bring them up. My advice would be to love them dearly and show them you love them, treat them as an equal when you talk to them but make firm boundaries and enjoy every waking minute of it. Have fun with the kids because they will be grown up in no time and when they get to that age, they wont want to be hanging around with their olds. Go for it !!! |
Well if it ruins your life a hell of a lot of people are gluttons for punishment! It changes your life totally and can put a strain on relationships, but it can also strengthen a good one. You will never know until you try. And the depth of love and selflessness which most people experience may give you hope for humanity. Is your friend divorced by any chance ? Sounds like a bit of bitterness going on there. And ... if you ever hit rocky ground and got divorced for any reason, your children will still be there making a contribution to both your lives and hopefully making their way in the world.
It is purely between you and your husband. Noone can or should influence that decision. If you both want them then you should have them, if you don't then there is no need. I suppose if one of you does want them and the other doesn't it will cause problems, but I would have thought this is something that should be known before marriage.
The one thing I will say is that having children will not save a bad marriage - I can't imagine that children will cause a divorce.
i couldnt ever imagine a life without my son, he is my biggest fan, and i love him so much i cant describe it, everyone i know loves my little boy and i wouldnt be happy without him, we are planning on having 3 more kids and have 2 names already!
its personal choice, your friend cannot make that decision for you, sounds like he is worried about his mate becoming domesticated!
No kids for me yet but i have always know that i want to share my life with children. When the time is right i know that children will enhance my life and I hope to be in a position to devote all my time into being an excellent parent. I have may friends who are young parents and unfortunately the novelty seems to wear off when the kids start being able to talk and walk - it seems to me that may people don't think about the massive lifelong obligation that comes with having babies and it just goes to show how important it is that both partners are ready to commit themselves to such a life changing expreience. You cannot look to others when making such a decision, as you and your partner are the only people who will know if you are ready (and able) to be good parents.
Good luck with whatever you decide
Reasons why not: 1. Drain you of money, 2. change your relationship, 3. stress, 4. house a mess, 5. more washing, ironing, cleaning etc, 6. less holidays, 7. more debt, 8. you stop going out, 9. syou start talking gaga, 10. start talking to friends and partner through your children, 11, sleepless nights, 12. sleep overs, 13. people carriers, 14. school placements, 15. knackered, 16. quiet nookie only (assuming you still do it!), 17. fighting and tantrums, 17. they all become teenagers, 18. want to borrow your car, 19 don't know they are half the time, 20. boyfriend.girlfriends, 21. parties, 22. turkey twislers, 23. a car full of stuff just to go out for a few hours
Reasons to have them: one day they leave home!!
HI Mrs Simont-t here. Simon and I have five children aged 11, 7, 3,2 and 8 months. I nearly died when I gave birth to my 8 month old, and when I was better my eldest daughter said to me, "I prayed so hard you wouldn't die mummy, I wanted you to stay so much because I wouldn't be who I am if it wasn't for you..." I was so taken aback by and 11 saying this to me, the person who she argues with and flounces off from on a regular basis, and I began to look at all my children and my marriage. After thinking about the last 14 years of marriage, the financial struggles, the illnesses, the tiredness the times of despair and heartache, I realised that I wouldn't be the person I am now without her or without any of them. I wouldn't understand the world the way I do if it wasn't for my children (and Simon of course!) I guess it is true after all, at the end, it doesn't matter how much money you've made, how many places you've been too or what house you live in; what matters is that you have nutured the children in your careto make a difference in the world.
( And I can't pretend that this didn't bring a little tear to my eye all over again....I have to go and hug all five of the littlies now...byeeee.!)
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