more children?

[lee_lee]

I have a 2 year old son and i am now ready 2 finish college. I am in a strong relationship with the father of my baby and i love him very much however he does not want any more children because he already has a 4 yearold boy from a previous re;lationship and he says he is happy with 2 children. I on the otherhand want another baby in a couple of years time but he is adamant he doesnt wnat any more. What should i do because i really love him but i dont just want one child

[B00]

I'd wait, if you put pressure on him, he'll dig his heels in and point blank refuse.

Me and Me Boo spent 10 years together stating we didn't want children together (I already had a daughter from a previous marriage) then suddenly we both changed our minds.

We now have a beautiful baby girl- however I genuinly think she wouldn't be as cherished as she is if we BOTH wasnt in total agreement on having another child.

you didn't state your age- however I'm willing to bet you're young enough to wait untill you're both ready.

good luck :-)

[woofgang]

don't please invest in this relationship based on the premise that he will change his mind. Of course he might, but what will you do if he doesn't?

Is the relationship that your son has with his dad worth giving up because you want another child?

were his views clear before you became pregnant or did he change his mind. Did he know that you wanted mote than one child before you became pregnant or have you decided this afterwards?

Did you discuss this stuff before you got together and made a baby?

I don't have any answers but if you have a think about some of the stuff i have just asked, maybe you will find your own.

Got to say I agree with BOO though, pressure and ultimatums (?a ?i) won't help

[funnywebsite]

You say you can wait another two years. I am assuming you are still young being at college. If so then you can see what happens but it's not worth bothering hanging around with a man who doesn't want any children if you do because you will reget it. These days woman are encouraged to keep waiting to have their career then start a family and then they find out they were not as fertile as they thought they were. Woman's fertility starts to go down hill after the age of 26. You need to explain yes he has two children but you only have one so you are loosing out. Another alternative is accidentally on purpose get preggers but you must keep that secret to yourself and yourself only.

[kick3m0n]

not to shoot down anyone else's advice but for gods sake DO NOT get pregnant by "accident". That is not the actions of a responsible parent.

[funnywebsite]

Well there is only one answer then and only you can make that decision. I was not telling you it is alright to get pregnant accidentally but men are getting their cake and eating it and not taking any responsibility for a womans natural instinct to want a baby. It just reminded me of a story line on Coronation street between Ken & Deirdre not too log ago. They were having a major row about the fact that Ken would not let her have another baby and now she has to live with the fact she is too old and has missed her chance. I just thought what if she had accidentally got pregant it would of not been the end of the world. Sorry too much T.V and not the real world.

[The Ponderer]

It seems quite straightforward to me, the guys had laid his cards on the table and you have to respect his wishes. It would be worse if he just went along with it to please you and then ended up resenting his own child years down the line. I have three kids myself and after the initial few years you'll find your kids can be emotionally and financially draining and it can be very hard work you may find that you don't want anymore yourself once your 2 year old is a bit older.

[gingerflaps]

i think u should be lucky that u already have 1 child by this man, some people are together for yrs and 1 of them suddenly decides he/she doesnt want a baby, then the other person in stuck in an arkward position. i think u should wait a few years maybe untill your child is in school, then see how you and ur hubby feels. usually the man comes round to your way of thinking, trust me, i know 1st hand. my fella didnt want kids, we have been together 5 yrs and he suddenly decides he's gettin older and needs to sow his seeds