ignoring solicitors letters

[ronnie963]

what would happen if i just ignored a letter from a solicitor about my ex seeing his son. Its not in his best interest to see his dad at the monent and i am sure he is going to go to see a solicitor and i just cant go to court and sit there while someone who doesn't know me tells me how to bring my son up

[Drusilla1S]

I would not advise ignoring legal letters as a court will take such action into consideration when discussing any possible changes in custody or visitation rights.

The court will view you as awkward and it could give your ex partner the very leverage you do not want him to have. The law of the land is more important than your personal feelings in these matters and ignoring this letter could backfire on you dramatically.

I would suggest you give the letter to your own solicitor and if you do not have one, please get one and explain to him/her why you feel it is not in your sons best interest to see his father at this moment in time.

[lady_p_gold]

Why is it not in your son's best interests to see his father, not sure of the background but do you have the right to make that decision ?? I speak as someone who was kept from their father in 'my best interests' and who has deeply suffered because of it. Unless he is an axe murderer .....

[raysparx]

As Drusilla says it would not be wise to ignore legal letters,also are you preventing your ex from seeing HIS son just to get back at him ? whatever has happensd between you two should not affect whatever is best for the child, you might not love each other but he will always love his son, For the kiddies sake think hard about what is best. Good luck

[ronnie963]

well lady-p he,s only just turned 5 and he,s coming home telling me that he can go to the shops on his own at his dads and he,s playing out in the street on his own, all very well for some in a nice neighbour hood but last week he told me that he and an other boy who is 6 hid behind a car from(in his words) the pak* who sells drugs who lives two doors away from his dads house. When i asked him about this he said i was over protected but he's my baby and things like this don,t happen at home. its not right these aren,t the only things that have happened either

[noxlumos]

Hi ronnie,sorry to sound a bit negative here but it does sound as though you might be over-reacting a tad. You are obviously on speaking terms with your ex so keep it nice if you can at all costs. I understand that you're going to be concerned about some of the things he may have said, but it's not so unusual for kids to play out and I daresay he actually goes to the shops with another group of children. Have another word with your ex and try and thrash out a compromise.If he loves his son and is a good father then the people above are right your son would benefit from seeing him. If he's violent or abusive that's another matter, but try and keep it amicable if you can rather than breaking each other's hearts with solicitors.

[spacechimp]

I wonder where he picked up "pak*"

[lady_p_gold]

Well obviously that is worrying and I can see your concern so thanks for supplying the background. There are drug dealers in every street and it might sound worse than it is ....... but as others have said best not to ignore solicitors letters as it then makes you seem irresponsible. So just be calm and precise and state your case, but don't just ignore it, because then it might escalate into something worse.

[dilf]

are you one of the many women who would deny a father his child or a child his father. i was a victim of the spurned ex / stolen child scenario and i and my daughter suffered because her mother chose to punish me. it is not your right to decide as you may be prejudiced and as a consequence your son may lose a loving father who is just as important as his mother.

my advice to the father would be dont give up see the solicitor and see your child as much as possible cos in a few years your child will be able to voice their own oppinion and chose you for themselves.

on the other hand ronnie maybe you are not one of those women at all and ive got it wrong in which case i am sorry.

[Blyss]

is there anyways you can speak tosome on a morew one 2 one level

I was really needing adivse and to talk to noxlumos...
If he can email me it would be most helpful


[email protected]

[mollymandy]

get legal advice you will regret it if you dont .

[ronnie963]

thank you all for your answers. I've had time to think and really do not want to stop my son from seeing his dad they love each other very much (and i enjoy the break) but he just has differant ways of caring for him I'm just so scared that something will happen to him and i then get looked apon as a bad mother for letting him go somewhere he's not being supervised properly i love him very much and do not want any harm to come to him. Hope you all understand i not the big bad wolf . Kids should come with a saftey manual it would be alot easier :-}

[ronnie963]

and forgot spacechimp he won't say that word again!

[TraciJ2]

Ronnie,

PLEASE DO NOT IGNORE the letter. Seriously, it WILL do you more harm then good.

I know i'm a week late with this reply, but here goes my tuppence worth if you still want input?

I read all the replies and some of them were very considerate - sometimes though, i feel that 'text speak' looses some compassion.

i didnt think that my S/Son should see his birth mother - for his best interests - and he has proved us right. he HATES going, LOVES coming home and before anybody says its because we influence him - i speak of only the good things he can get from see her. he's made his own decision and he will stick to it. he makes the best of a bad job really.

Your child will make up their own mind when their old enough, but until then we have to do the best we can to care, support and love them. sometimes though, it is the hardest job in the world especially, when it seems that the non-resident parent (be it Mother or Father) dont seem to have the same views of what is right and wrong. Sometimes, the non-resident parent seems to be using youre child to get back at you and all you hear is people saying that youre doing that!it is annoying and frustrating and gets you down - but promise us all that you wont let that happen!

keep your head high, your best smile on and more importantly love your child and make sure that they know that YOU willALWAYS be there for them no matter what.

all the best

TAC XX