forceing my ex to see kids

[lisajane666]

my ex who decided he didnt want to be on the birth certs has decided he doesnt want anything to do with the girls as he pays to much csa, can i force him to see the girls?

[lady_p_gold]

Well that would be a little difficult to enforce wouldn't it ...... so the answer would be no

[kelfoan]

What a loser. I would be mortified if I was ever in a position were I could not see my son (god forbid we ever seperated). Children are so precious and he will regret it in the future. I wouldnt force him to see them. It seems he doesn't deserve such a gift

[cliffsdoll]

yeh he sounds a real loser, how dare he trest his kids that way, you cant force him to see them but he,s the onw who will loose out in the long run, when your girls grow up they will resent him for that and who can blame them. maybe thy're better off without him anyone can father children but it takes a real man to be a dad and this one is too imature.

[noxlumos]

Whyever would you want to? Even if you succeeded in forcing him, and I don't quite see how you could, your girls would suffer for it as an enforced parental relationship would be really damaging. Leave the prat alone to his sad devices and enjoy rearing your daughters. As they grow up they'll realise what a weasel he is and that they are best shut of him.

[Bohne]

Why would you want to do that?
That most certainly cannot be beneficial to anyone.
Certainly not the children!

[Hellion]

Stop worrying about it and go and enjoy your life with your children - it's his loss not yours or theirs. Hopefully you'll one day meet a lovely man who becomes a real Dad to your children. Any fool can be a father or a mother but it takes special people to be a 'Mum' and a 'Dad'!

[alcantar408]

I have a 15 year old daughter and her father has seen her about 2 years out of her whole 15 years.. I use to worry that she was going to blame me that she didnt have a father.. She grew up wanting her fathers attention so bad and would call him and beg him to see her and I eventually got really tired of watching her cry so I told her she couldnt call him anymore.. Well it all backed fired in my face.. She went thru a stage where she blamed me for her father not being there.. Because her father knew I stopped her from calling, so he used that as his excuse to why he didnt see her. We went thru rough time for about a year and I then let her do what she wanted to do ( WITH HER FATHER) and I had to give her tough love and let her learn on her own, and she did. Now she is 15 going 16 and she doesnt even bother to call him and she knows now it was him not me.. She get's good grades and she graduates in 2 years and she cnat wait to send him an invitation to show him she made it with out him.. I am so proud of her.. But if he wants to be a jerk and not see his kids, It's his lose not there's.. Just enjoy your kids and know your there for them and who care about him.. He can cry with regret later.. and believe me he will....Hope this [email protected]

[dancecaller]

I agree with the others that there's no point trying to force it.

Try not to be too negative about him when you have to explain, though there will be times when you'll feel negative coping with things on your own.

[dancecaller]

Our advice may be wrong as we don't know all the facts.

Are the girls twins or did he not want his name on the birth cert even when you were together? How old are the girls, do they miss him?

You want him to see the girls, so whatever happened between you you must think he is not completely unsuitable. Maybe you can keep the door open for him by sending him occasional news and photos so that when he is feeling less bitter/ more mature/whatever, he can think again.
Bitterness does no-one any good so if you can try to understand things from his point of view you will be better able to come to terms with his attitude and find some way of explaining it to the girls. Maybe �he was too young to be a Daddy�, or �he didn�t have his own Daddy when he was little so he didn�t know how� or �he was cross with me� or whatever you think. Certainly �he doesn�t know what he�s missing, I�m so lucky to have you�. You mustn�t let them think for one minute that its their fault.
Hope it all works out in the end.