trouble with my 9 year old

[alcantar408]

For the past 2 years I have been having problems with my 9 year old and lately it has been getting worse.. Within 1 week his teacher has had to call me 3 times for bad behavior at school.. What do I do.. I have no idea anymore. He grounded, I spanked him, he's in trouble at school. There's nothing else to punish him from...What do I do..

[madham]

Hi Alcantar, I have posted several things about my son developing early (he's 10 1/2 now) I had lots of trouble with him generally from the age of 8 at school, not concentrating, shouting out, I had numerous letters from school, threats of 2 day exclusion more than once, I had an appointment with a child psycologist and they put it down to him starting puberty early... Which brings me to the present day and his last Parents evening just before Easter, 10/10 he has improved 100% is a joy to teach and have taking him off special needs behaviour register.

So stick with it, it will get better, it is possibly just as in my case he is developing very quickly and his challenging teenage behaviour is happening now instead of when he is 13.

Hope this helps

[mimififi]

Is he very bright? It could be that he is bored and the school isnt' stretching him enough. It is true what they say about idle hands.

Alternatively, you might consider checking basic things such as IgE levels (indicate allergies) his hearing and his eye sight. Sometimes these things case frustration levels so high it comes out in behaviour.

If you find that it goes on and on and nothing helps, try a detox diet. I changed my son's child and he turned into a completely different person. I took him to the doctors and he had a blood test and then I started the diet. When we went back for the blood test, his IgE level was through the roof. He went on for allergy testing, but it was all inconclusive, the doctor said that it was likely he was allergic to so many things that in combination they gave him a severe reaction, but individually, they posed only a small problem.
I took him off wheat, gluten, dairy, ALL colours, ALL preservatives, ALL flavourings, MSG, citris fruit and fish and fish products. We didn't eat nuts anyway so that was ok. He was also prescribed two different anti-histimines and asthma medication (He was found to have such a variable peak flo that asthma was diagnosed. Mis managed asthma, due to poorer oxygen levels also created poor behaviour born out of fear and frustration and poor circulation). He still has 'allergic' symptoms in the summer, but these are pollen related. He was able to re-introduce, wheat, gluten, hard cheese, but still doesn't have milk, fish, or any chemicular additives. I make most things anyway. cont

[mimififi]

I know it sounds drastic, but we are what we eat, and so it's little wonder why with so much junk in our diet, even junk that we don't know about that we all feel below par so much of the time.
My son also benefitted from supplements in particular Omega 3s. I took him also to see a nutritionist at www.highernature.com. I don't know where you are, but there might be somewher similar near you.

Interestingly also, his skin improved no end. Previously he had awful dry scaly skin.

There is also a really good book called "Is this your child" and it is all about childhood allergies and the different signs and symptoms of them. Some of them are incredible, things you'd never think of.

hope this helps and that things settle down soon. I'm sure they will

[mimififi]

p.s just a thought? He isn't doing SATs is he? The pressure of those could be a contributory factor also.

My kids are home ed so I can't remember exactly when they do their SATS, but I remember my friends little one doing them and she was beside herself with worry. Poor little thing used to cry every night and worry that she would 'fail'. I ask you: how can you 'fail' when you are knee high to a grass hopper?

still, another thread there.

[alcantar408]

Thank you for all your feed back.. I have 3 kids and one on the way...and I am getting married in 2 weeks. So I thought maybe it was that but he is trouble at school with school work and he seems to get frustrated when he doesnt know how to do it. His teacher jsut called me 3 times this week with him swinging on the bathroom stalls, coping off a test, and standing his desk trying to climb up the sealing.. He lost all privledges at school and at home.. He gives me his sad eyes when he want to play outside but I have to say no, and then I feel guilty.. He steals from him older sister ( candy, socks, paper, ect...) He hides dirty dishes in the cabinets cause he doesnt want to do them.. I have taken him to the plolice station and told him he has to start to behave but no help... I am at a loss of words.. On the developing early comment.. He has been liking girls a lot and he says he wants to have kids...I get mad at him and tell him not to be thinking like that he's to young.. Little girls come over and say they want to date him and i shewww tehm away.. So I dont know..

[madham]

His liking of girls is natural, but I bet if you asked him who kissed his teeth out, he'll tell you to get lost. Try not to dampen his spirits even where the ladies are concerned and also, praise good behaviour and ignore all the bad stuff, within reason anyway.

Also it may be that he is feeling a little left out with new baby on the way, re-assure him that you love him and new baby won't take his place, I am sure you will do great with him, you obviously care about him a great deal, good luck.