dummies

[vida]

my son is 3 years and 4 months old and still wants a dummy even when not tired, when he isn't thinking about it he is fine, but as soon as he realizes then he asks for it. I don't want him to have one. Please help

[sherrardk]

My eldest son had a dummy for absolutely ages - I can't remember how old he was when he gave it up (not even sure if he was still having one at nightime when he was nearly 5!). We decided that we would let him give it up when he wanted to. My middle son (two and half)shows no inclination to give up his dummies but isn't allowed to have them in public!

[andy-hughes]

Why not start talking to your son around November, saying that now he is a big boy, wouldn;t it be nice to leave his dummies for Santa to take to all the new babies. By Christmas Eve he will be used to the idea, let him leave them out with the milk and mince pie and carrtot, and they'll all be gone Christmas morning, and you can remind him when he wants his dummy that Santa has given it to a new baby who needs it, now he is too big for it.

[stubbings]

You have the key to it "when he isn't thinking about it" - your number one tactic with a 3yr old is distraction - keep him thinking, talking and doing and he'll be too busy to ask.

Number two tactic is ignoring - tell him you will not discuss the dummy... and don't. Change the subject or walk away if he mentions it.

Number three tactic - if you can't ignore, be positive - never say "no" - some kids believe they must react badly to this word! Tell him "yes you can have your dummy ... at bedtime / naptime..." (if that is what you are happy with).

Number four tactic - reward & celebrate any success together. "Right... as a treat we're going out to the park this afternoon because you didn't once ask for your dummy". (Don't become negative and give punishments if he does ask - go back to tactic nos 1&2 !!)

Remember that being a parent is all about making judgements about what is right for your child... not giving them what they think they want. That way they will grow up secure in the belief that their parents are in control, even if most of the time we know we aren't !!

[smudge]

As a toddler, my husband had a dummy. One day his Mum told him that a big fly had been sitting on it! On hearing this, he says he threw his dummy in the bin himself & carried on playing with his toys - like a big boy! Just a thought....

[jaq1964]

I saw on a TV programme that someone was having the same problem as you.

They were advised to tie the dummy to a helium balloon as let it go, explaining to the child that he is now a big boy and the dummy was now going on a special journey. If the child asked about it, they could have a little story as to how far it has travelled.

Just a thought. Good luck!

[spudqueen]

My eldest son had a dummy (youngest one sucked his thumb) and I was fine with this, but I would never allow him to have it at first toddlers, then play school then pre-school so he was having it less and less (and not always asking for it when he got home), however he still could not sleep without it. He had started school and was going on for 5 when he asked if he could change from playtime milk to orange juice, I agreed on condition that he got rid of his dummy. We left it outside for the mummy birds to take to the baby birds, and he never looked back (though I did have one in the cupboard for age in case of emergency!).

[Gef]

But he wants it. Whats the problem? He will grow out of it sooner or later.

[Blyss]

when my daughter was a toddler and still using her dummy , I dipped it in vingar , she spat it out instantly ,, I said .eww lets chuck that one out and we did ..them off we went to the store to buy a new one , once home I dipped that in vinigar as well ,, and then told her ..aw dear ..they must make them like that now , she promptly took it to the bin herself and put it in..
It was 21 years ago mind you ..lol
I liked the balloon idea ..thats just been sujested .

[MrsJo49155]

LOL Blyss that is nearly as devious as my husbands mate who told his kids that when the ice-cream van rang its bell it meant he had run out of ice-cream!

[tradey]

my 2 and a half year old used to carry 3 around with her,i thought id have a really bad time getting her off them,about 6mths ago i was sick of seeing them in her hands and mouth and thought thats it, i bought her some stickers and told her that if she didnt have her dummy for a whole day she would get lots of stickers and a nice little prezzie by the end of the week, she was off them by the 2nd week and hasnt had one since

[dee5]

i used the 'the new baby needs it!' method on my godson and it worked but then he started taking his new born baby brothers dummys and throwing them in the bin. Not what was meant to happen but it meant that neither of them have them now.

Good luck!!

[kelsmels]

My daughter is 3 and a half and we waited until after a long car ride and holiday and then we told her that it will be going into the bin and she gave up with suprisingly little fight. I wonder if parents (us included) are the ones that are loath to give it up and it becomes a bit of security when they are kicking off.

I reckon that if you are truely ready to give it up as a parent then you will also be surprised at how easy it will be for them - as long as you are consistent and stick to your guns.

Don't spend too much time worrying - it will soon seem like a distant memory!

All the best

[Jade Trinket]

If I was you, maybe I would be thinking about reducing the amount of time he uses one, so it is gradual. My son who is 4 next month, has one just for sleeping at night with. When your son is asking for it, try saying "You can have it when you sleep" Maybe try a reward scheme and keep him busy!"My husband wants to get rid of our son's, but it isn't him who gets the sleepless nights!