Quizzes & Puzzles22 mins ago
CSA and DNA tests
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Does anyone here have any experience of the CSA bullying them into unwanted DNA tests? I had a letter last week, OFFERING a DNA test to determine the paternity of my child and it stated that IF I AGREE to the test, to sign the declaration. Well, for personal reasons I don't agree to a test, so didn't sign the form. Today I had another letter saying they will have to arrange for an interview to ascertain my reasons for NOT COMPLYING with the CSA, and FAILURE TO CO-OPERATE will result in up to a 40% reduction in my benefit. I do feel that they are bullying me into it. I don't want proof that this man is the father, neither does he. I know it would be best in case we need to know his medical history, etc. but..... I don't know what to do. He's not a nice man, it was a drunken one night stand, years ago and I've regretted it ever since (although I don't regret having my child, I love her to bits) Is there any way out of this? If he IS her father will he have any rights? He's not named on the birth certificate. Does anyone have any helpful advice?
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Hi again Pippa,
Well, I'm really really hoping he won't want to know! In fact, I think the CSA will find it very difficult to get him to have the DNA test, as he refused last time.
I think I've pretty much decided that I will give consent to a DNA test, because at the very least it will make me look co-operative, even if I don't really want it. I think what I want has been clouding my judgement over what's actually for the best in the long term.
And anyway I might be worrying over nothing as it could be the other man!!! I hope it is because at least he's a good person and my daughter could be proud to have him as her father.
I'm so glad I posted this question, I really feel less stressed after all you ABers' help. Thank you so much xxx
Well, I'm really really hoping he won't want to know! In fact, I think the CSA will find it very difficult to get him to have the DNA test, as he refused last time.
I think I've pretty much decided that I will give consent to a DNA test, because at the very least it will make me look co-operative, even if I don't really want it. I think what I want has been clouding my judgement over what's actually for the best in the long term.
And anyway I might be worrying over nothing as it could be the other man!!! I hope it is because at least he's a good person and my daughter could be proud to have him as her father.
I'm so glad I posted this question, I really feel less stressed after all you ABers' help. Thank you so much xxx
Blue Heaven - i personally think its a good idea for you to have the test for two reasons
a) what if they collected maintenance from the man who isn't her father then one day its discovered that he shouldn't have been paying it - chances are he could make a claim against you to get it back
b) even though you don't want to know and you daughter has no interest at the moment its quite likely that when she is older or has children of her own she will want to know about her father. My mother refused to tell me about my father and i have always felt very angry about that, i believe i have a right to know and maybe your daughter will feel that way too.
But couldn't agree with you more about the CSA - they are useless. My ex is a very wealthy man who owns a string of properties and lives off the income. His other children go to private school, they live in a flash house and drive brand new mercedes cars and he doesn't pay me a single penny because he continually lies to the CSA. They won't do anything about it unless i can provide evidence of his income. Surely its there job to investigate - like he is going to give me a copy of his bank statement. But i am proud to bring my son up alone and he knowes exactly what kind of guy his father is and wants nothing to do with him
a) what if they collected maintenance from the man who isn't her father then one day its discovered that he shouldn't have been paying it - chances are he could make a claim against you to get it back
b) even though you don't want to know and you daughter has no interest at the moment its quite likely that when she is older or has children of her own she will want to know about her father. My mother refused to tell me about my father and i have always felt very angry about that, i believe i have a right to know and maybe your daughter will feel that way too.
But couldn't agree with you more about the CSA - they are useless. My ex is a very wealthy man who owns a string of properties and lives off the income. His other children go to private school, they live in a flash house and drive brand new mercedes cars and he doesn't pay me a single penny because he continually lies to the CSA. They won't do anything about it unless i can provide evidence of his income. Surely its there job to investigate - like he is going to give me a copy of his bank statement. But i am proud to bring my son up alone and he knowes exactly what kind of guy his father is and wants nothing to do with him
Hi Janet,
Firstly, they couldn't collect maintenance from the other man even if they wanted to as he does not live in the UK and is not a British Citizen.
Secondly, I am sorry that your mother never told you about your father - but i would never refuse to tell my daughter about him, I just haven't YET because she doesn't want to know. If when she's older she wants to track him down I would be happy to help her do that. Of course she has a right to know, I agree.
I am sorry to hear of your bad experiences with the CSA, but I am sure that you have done a fantastic job of raising your child alone.
Firstly, they couldn't collect maintenance from the other man even if they wanted to as he does not live in the UK and is not a British Citizen.
Secondly, I am sorry that your mother never told you about your father - but i would never refuse to tell my daughter about him, I just haven't YET because she doesn't want to know. If when she's older she wants to track him down I would be happy to help her do that. Of course she has a right to know, I agree.
I am sorry to hear of your bad experiences with the CSA, but I am sure that you have done a fantastic job of raising your child alone.
Well, after a long discussion with a close friend, and after all the helpful answers I have had here, I finally got the courage up to ring the CSA (I'm not good on the phone, I get all muddled up!).
I am glad I did it, as the lady I spoke to couldn't have been nicer. She was very kind, sympathetic and understanding. She said she thought it was strange that the case had been re-opened, because usually that only happens at the mother's request. She said she presumes that 'the man' must have been tracked down after all this time and it is possible that he might have decided to have a DNA test this time.
She told me that it's the law to comply with a DNA test request from the CSA and that if I don't comply, I will lose 40% of my benefit as a penalty. So basically I don't have a choice. As has been said here, if he is the father he will have no rights and would have to take me to court if he wanted access, but it is very likely the judge would rule in my favour and not allow any contact. She also said that if he had been violent towards me in the past, the CSA would have done a 'Good Cause Action' and closed the case permanently.
I have agreed to have the DNA testing done and will receive a letter next week. He will have to be tested first. The results will take about 2 weeks and we (inc.CSA) will all find out on the same day. If the result is negative, I will be shown a photo of the man who took the test to confirm if it was him or not. If the result is positive, he will have to pay ME (not the CSA as first thought) 15% of his net weekly wage in maintenance. As I receive Income Support, I will only be entitled to keep �10 of that per week (but actually I work part time so it might be less than that, I'm not sure) and the rest will go to the Secretary of State to offset my benefits.
So there we are! I'm feeling a lot calmer now ;o)
I shall keep this thread updated as and when things happen as it
I am glad I did it, as the lady I spoke to couldn't have been nicer. She was very kind, sympathetic and understanding. She said she thought it was strange that the case had been re-opened, because usually that only happens at the mother's request. She said she presumes that 'the man' must have been tracked down after all this time and it is possible that he might have decided to have a DNA test this time.
She told me that it's the law to comply with a DNA test request from the CSA and that if I don't comply, I will lose 40% of my benefit as a penalty. So basically I don't have a choice. As has been said here, if he is the father he will have no rights and would have to take me to court if he wanted access, but it is very likely the judge would rule in my favour and not allow any contact. She also said that if he had been violent towards me in the past, the CSA would have done a 'Good Cause Action' and closed the case permanently.
I have agreed to have the DNA testing done and will receive a letter next week. He will have to be tested first. The results will take about 2 weeks and we (inc.CSA) will all find out on the same day. If the result is negative, I will be shown a photo of the man who took the test to confirm if it was him or not. If the result is positive, he will have to pay ME (not the CSA as first thought) 15% of his net weekly wage in maintenance. As I receive Income Support, I will only be entitled to keep �10 of that per week (but actually I work part time so it might be less than that, I'm not sure) and the rest will go to the Secretary of State to offset my benefits.
So there we are! I'm feeling a lot calmer now ;o)
I shall keep this thread updated as and when things happen as it
Hi im new to this forum and stumbled upon it looking or answers to my problem,when my daughter was born my ex didnt want my name on the birth cert as it was financially better for her at the time,we split up when my daughter was 2 and for that 2 years and for the past 4 i have had regular contact with my daughter and always paid her maintenence(more than csa would have took from me).i stupidly gave her cash at the same time she was unemloyed and claiming all the benefits she could for being single.
I met someone else and when she found out she got nasty as my new girlfriend has a wee boy and in her eyes that was wrong,she stopped me seeing my daughter so i stopped the money,then she let me see my daufgter again and i gave her the money she was due but in a cheque as she threatened to tell the csa that i had gave her nothing all those years,she has been cashing the cheques for a couple of months now but recently she stopped me seeing my daughter again and has not been cashing the cheques ive been sending.
Ive been to a lawyer who sent her a letter and who also told me i WILL get to see my daughter eventually but i will have to go to court which will cost me upwards of �2000 and cost her nothing as she is on benefits,the courts cant ask my daughter her opinion as she is disabled and cant speak,im faced with the court bill and no gaurantee that when the court say i can see my daughter that i wil as my lawyer said that she can be awkward and make excuses on my days to see my daughter and the courts wont punish her as that wont be in the best interests of the child,its so unfair to fathers out there who are genuine nice and caring fathers and never mind the cost im facing and god forbid if she does contact the csa and "put me in it"
I met someone else and when she found out she got nasty as my new girlfriend has a wee boy and in her eyes that was wrong,she stopped me seeing my daughter so i stopped the money,then she let me see my daufgter again and i gave her the money she was due but in a cheque as she threatened to tell the csa that i had gave her nothing all those years,she has been cashing the cheques for a couple of months now but recently she stopped me seeing my daughter again and has not been cashing the cheques ive been sending.
Ive been to a lawyer who sent her a letter and who also told me i WILL get to see my daughter eventually but i will have to go to court which will cost me upwards of �2000 and cost her nothing as she is on benefits,the courts cant ask my daughter her opinion as she is disabled and cant speak,im faced with the court bill and no gaurantee that when the court say i can see my daughter that i wil as my lawyer said that she can be awkward and make excuses on my days to see my daughter and the courts wont punish her as that wont be in the best interests of the child,its so unfair to fathers out there who are genuine nice and caring fathers and never mind the cost im facing and god forbid if she does contact the csa and "put me in it"
Hi watteee,
I'm sorry, that's an awful situation to be in. Unlike the man concerned in my situation, you have been a proper father to your child and I can't imagine what it must be like to suddenly not be as involved in your child's upbringing as you once were.
You say your daughter can't speak - is there any other way she can communicate? Such as sign language, picture boards, eye movements? Just a thought as I have worked with disabled children and these are the methods they have used.
I know �2000 is a lot of money, but it will be worth it in the long run - could you speak to your bank about it, or perhaps family members may be able to help?
If your ex was to 'put you in it' with the CSA, you could easily do the same to her with the DSS - she should have declared the money you were giving her, and if she didn't then she will have been overpaid her benefits and she would have to pay a fair bit of money back. NOT that I'm saying this is the way to go - you would have to be able to prove to the DSS you were giving her the money, just as she would have to prove to the CSA that you weren't paying her.
As for your ex making excuses not to let you see your child on your days, maybe she could be persuaded to leave your daughter at a relative's or mutual friend's house where you could then collect her from or spend time with her there. Surely she would see that it is in the child's best interests to be able to spend time with her Dad?
Hopefully someone else will see this and have some better advice to offer, they're very good on here!
I'm sorry, that's an awful situation to be in. Unlike the man concerned in my situation, you have been a proper father to your child and I can't imagine what it must be like to suddenly not be as involved in your child's upbringing as you once were.
You say your daughter can't speak - is there any other way she can communicate? Such as sign language, picture boards, eye movements? Just a thought as I have worked with disabled children and these are the methods they have used.
I know �2000 is a lot of money, but it will be worth it in the long run - could you speak to your bank about it, or perhaps family members may be able to help?
If your ex was to 'put you in it' with the CSA, you could easily do the same to her with the DSS - she should have declared the money you were giving her, and if she didn't then she will have been overpaid her benefits and she would have to pay a fair bit of money back. NOT that I'm saying this is the way to go - you would have to be able to prove to the DSS you were giving her the money, just as she would have to prove to the CSA that you weren't paying her.
As for your ex making excuses not to let you see your child on your days, maybe she could be persuaded to leave your daughter at a relative's or mutual friend's house where you could then collect her from or spend time with her there. Surely she would see that it is in the child's best interests to be able to spend time with her Dad?
Hopefully someone else will see this and have some better advice to offer, they're very good on here!
