so bored

[havinmysay]

i am so fed up with my life at the moment i have a 10 month old son so i dont get out much iv been single about a year and im clamping on weight everydays the same and its harder getting out of bed in the morning.help!

[Ms.Hijinx]

cheer up hun you have a beautiful son and its your personality that gets you through life not your appearance. you obviously have enough cash to be able to afford internet and pc so i would suggest changing your job to something you always wanted to do, take a holiday, have a girls night, get a pet, have your hair done, shop or talk to a mate that you havent seen for ages on the phone .hope you feel better soon lots of luck

[electricblue]

Have you got post-natal depression?Its is so common and often people dont know they have it or wont admit to having it,go see your gp hun,and get it sorted,then start living for yourself and your son!good luck!

[applebee]

Smile....try to get someone to watch your darling son...and take some time for the spa or shopping, or going out with fiends....Ms.Hijinx's suggestions sounded great. Look at your son when you need encouragement and and a laugh and a smile. :)

[xanderma]

Just to add to electricblue's answer, it could well be PND, however you don't have to see your GP if you don't want. You could chat with your Health Visitor in the first instance, ours helped diagnose my husband's depression when we had our second baby and her help was absolutely brilliant. There's something less 'medical' somehow about talking to a HV!

As your baby is now a little older, look for things you can do together. In my area there was mother & toddler swimming, playgroup, baby gym - and that's just for starters. There you'll meet other mums and it'll also give you a reason to get going in the morning (sorry to sound patronising). A trip to a local park can throw up some people in similar situations as well.

My social life in the area I live in has really taken off since I had children as I've met so many neighbours and people on the rest of the estate who I never knew when I was commuting to work. Hopefully the same can happen for you.

Good luck!

[tradey]

i know how your feeling,its really borring isnt it same thing every min of the day,get up clean go out cook tea bath put kids to bed,you sound so peed off, i have a husband but he works all the time so its not like he can help out much,what i did was one day i thought right pull yourself together if not for yourself then for the baby,you have to do it for your son,he needs you more than ever,i went to boots and got a tonic and vitamins i feel so much better now,you have to get yourself out of this rut you will end up cracking up hun. i know its hard as you havnt got the father with you,it will get better i promise.do you have family cant they help out have him even if tis once a month so you can get out

[havinmysay]

thanks every1 i really do want to start takin my son to parent and toddler groups but i dont no of any round here i would also love to take him swimming but he has eczema so been told not to

[tradey]

phone or email your council ask for number of groups near you,or an email address.as for not letting you take your son swimming who said he cant,my niece has it and is in a swimming club.

[tradey]

havinmysay,do what i do,change what you do everyday make a list for the week,one day go to the park other days a picnic,shops,just for a long walk,meet up with mates have a chat

[havinmysay]

im also still living with my parents and feel i need my own space im tryin to get a council house but no look so far iv been on the list for about a year and a half and cant afford to private rent

[horselady]

It's horrible when you feel so depressed, it's like a great big black hole that you can't get out of. You should be at the happiest time of your life right now with your little boy. He will be a baby for such a short time and you can never get these years back again, I would give anything to have my kids babies again. The others have given brilliant advice so I shall just add a big hug and good luck.

[andrea_h]

http://www.childcarelink.gov.uk/index.asp

this website will also give you a list of toddler groups, playgroups etc too and all are government approved.

I had exactly the same thing last year - I decided to start sending my son to play group for 3 mornings a week - just for a 2hr session - this gave me some much needed time to myself - I used it to go to the gym for an hour and used the other just to chill out with a cuppa & a magazine.

You can meet other mums at the playgroup & your son will enjoy it too. You also meet new (non-child related) people at the gym, as you always need some adult conversation that has nothing to do with kids!

A xXx

[havinmysay]

thankyou so much for that website andrea i never knew there were so many in my area i will be contacting them shortly xxx

[xanderma]

Hi again, just to say that my little boy had eczema quite badly at that age, and yes, he was aggravated by swimming until it dawned on me that was what the problem was! I simply made sure I slathered him in Diprobase or E45 when he came out of the water and he was fine. I'd give it a try and see how you go. If it does prompt a flare-up, it's not the end of the world and at least you'll know one way or the other.

Good luck (again!)

[xanderma]

P.S ask at your local library for details of clubs etc in your area. Also, ask your Health Visitor - ours kept a list of things to do.

Hugs x

[madham]

Well done on bringing up your Son, I think even though you are a new mother it's important to get time to yourself. Whether it be an afternoon to pamper yourself or Granma/Grandad babysit so you can have a lovely lie in.. It's nothing to be ashamed of admitting you are finding things difficult.

Try and have a word with your Health Visitor as Xanderma mentioned, she will give you advice. Also, while baby is young don't worry about housework try and sleep while baby sleeps your body has been through a huge trauma and is still in the process of recovering.

Good luck honey x x

[Goodsoulette]

also if you are a single mum I expect you are entitled to help from surestart, find out what groups they are running, they will provide days out. Plus they should provide fitness vouchers for you to use in your council gyms, pools.
I have been in your very situation and I also have a 10 month old son now and know exactly how you feel about your body. What area do you live in??

[havinmysay]

i live in sheffield

[dancecaller]

The website above seems to give only childminders, nurseries and playgroups - places where you leave your child while you go and do something else.
Toddler groups, where parents stay with their children and meet other parents are also members of Pre-School Learning Alliance (tel [phone]). The website doesn't link to local groups, but try google - toddler groups and your County. (or preschool and county)
Or try http://www.netmums.com/
If you go to a toddler group you find that everyone is in the same boat, everyone is a bit shy and nervous at first but willing to be friendly, and you can all work together to make it a good place for the children, e.g. seeing that a child is playing safely while Mum makes the tea; helping keep the equipment clean and safe; deciding what new equipment is needed and raising funds.
At 10 months your son will be playing alongside others rather than with them, but you will make friends, who may share childcare so that you look after 2 children for a short while and get a few hours off in return. Your son will gradually learn to make friends, take turns and share toys. This will be so valuable when he starts school, and earlier.

[Goodsoulette]

here we go

http://www.surestart.gov.uk/surestartservices/ settings/fundedsettings/index.cfm?region=YH&au th=95

either get in touch with them in person or ask your health visitor to arrange a home visit. I got involved and I act as buddy mum, that means that when new mums get involved and they feel nervous about coming along to events I go and meet them and have a chat and introduce them to the rest of the group. Now I am very, very shy but I wanted to do something voluntary. You may not live in a surestart area but the government are aiming to make these services available to everyone, so if you make contact I am sure they will help you out.

[Goodsoulette]

also baby swimming at your local pool, music for babies, even your local church are all good starting points.