calling all parents with teenagers...help me!!!!

[lynneylou]

My daughter is nearly 13 and I am really struggling to adapy to her change of character and the different role I now play in her life. I have days where I continually cry and feel genuinally not needed anymore and very lonely. With it being the start of the summer holidays now I know that as much as poss she'll want to be out with her friends and when I do invite her to do something with me she's far from enthusiastic. At the moment I just feel very unloved and alone. I do appreciate how many changes she is dealing with herself hormones etc but I wish we were as close as a year ago. Am I the only parent who is/has gone through these feelings/grief????

[B00]

Ahhhh, welcome to the teenage-dirt-bag years lynneylou, brilliant aint they? (not!)

They do eventually grow out of this stage- honest!

Don't go feeling un-loved, she will obviously still love you as much as ever but its oh so 'uncool' to let you know that.

All you can do i'm afraid is ride it out, oh and have large bottles of vodka (for you, obviously) to hand, you'll need em.

Good luck
xxxxx

[Kaz081992]

There's a great book called chicken soup for the women's soul. Get yourself a copy and then curl up with a nice glass of wine to read it. It will not only give you a boost but will also give you ideas on ways to keep your closeness intact.
Good luck.
P.s Should be able to get the book on amazon.co.uk

[beejaybee]

At the moment she`s growing up & mum`s are "naff" cos they "know nothing". Been there, done that, bought the tshirt with my mum. She`ll always need you, even though she`ll not admit it. My son is 30 married with kids, but still needs mum ocassionally.

[lilacben]

Hi Lynneylou I feel for you and know how you are feeling. I have two daughters who where both like that at 13. the awful teenage years. uck! whatever you say will be wrong and they make you feel like an old hasbeen. Dont let it get you down,she is growing up,fast.! go out and get yourself some new hobby or maybe a job. that will make you new friends.she does still need you but it isnt "cool" to have your mum too close at that age.so she thinks. Bet she will come running when things are down for her. She will alwas love you but not show it.You just have to let her grow up and be there for her.Keep in touch and try not to feel too sad. Brenda xx

[JOEYGREEN]

I guess the offer of taking her out shopping and for lunch didnt go down too well then? Sorry to hear that. I agree with everyone else, it may not seem like she needs you but she definitely does and always will. Just back off a bit and enjoy yourself. Take yourself off and do something for you. As long as your daughter knows you are there for her if she does happen to need you then that's fine. This phase won't last forever.

[Liza B]

Hi lynneylou, I know where you are coming from I have 5 teenagers ranging from 13 to 18 and I felt like you do now with the eldest a few years ago and am now going through the same with the 15 year old. It seems that they all go through the indpendent stage of not needing mum and sometimes hating the family. My son has been grunting for the past year, no words seem to come from his mouth whan I am about yet when he is with mates he is the opposite, he won't even come on holiday with us. I have found a great web site on ivillage for parents of teens, try that, its good to share with others in the same boat and get advice on how to handle it, it has been a great helpto me.

Good luck, it turns out ok in the end, my eldest now gets on great with me, it did take a few years though.