son poos in pants

[python49]

my 4 year old son is toilet trainned but seems to wee or poo in his pants he can poo about twice a day . i dont know what to do as he will go to the toilet by himself several times in the day but then suddenly he will poo in his pants i have tried reward charts, stopping him playing with toys, shouting at him, not saying anything when cleaning him up and also trying to be nice and understanding about it but nothing seems to be working please help he starts school in september and i dont want it to happen at school

[andy-hughes]

This sounds like a control issue - literally and metaphorically.

For some reason, your son wants to draw attention to himself, and this is a sure way of doing it!

Spend some time with him doing something he likes, and casually ask him if he is OK, if anything is bothering him. Reassure him how much you love him, and that you will never be cross if he tells you if he has done somthing wrong.

There is obviously some underlying issue here - if that doesn't get to the root cause, have a word with your GP about referral to a child psychologist. I don;t want to sound alarmist, but something is going on in your little boy's life and he is unhappy about it, and obviously doesn't feel able to talk to you about it.

Good luck.

[wendilla]

I asked for the same advice about 3 weeks ago.But I am still struggling .He will go to toilet to wee never have wet pants but about 30 seconds after I have asked him if he wants to poo he will say (granma i have pooed and it's too late).I look after him 4 days in the week and believe you me I have taken all advice and tried it.He will be 4 in January and I have been told by some parentsI talk to at play school it will just suddenly come into place. Hope it'snot too long.