teenager having sex

[jmck66]

I've just found out my 15yr old son is having sex with his 16yr old girlfriend. I'm trying to be a 'modern mum' and talking to him about this. I know I can't stop them but I am very concerned. My son is using condoms but I've told him this isn't enough and his girlfriend has GOT to get some advice on family planning aswell. Although it's only a couple of weeks since I've found out, it seems to be at the forefront of my mind all the time and I can't stop thinking that I should have done more. I've told him that I will not and cannot encourage it but I now feel as though he thinks it's absolutely fine to be doing this and it's all 'so yesterday!'. I DON'T WANT TO BE A MUM ANYMORE, I DON'T LIKE PLAYING THIS GAME - I WANT TO GO HOME !!! There must be someone else in this position and I would be really grateful for any advice.

[saxy_jag]

Your concern is understandable, but they are at least taking some responsibility, which is more than many youngsters do. They're going to do it, and clearly they are concerned that they do so safely.

You know kids - they'll do exactly the opposite of what you ask them to. He knows how you feel. Telling him another three times won't make him any more likely to do as you say. If anything it'll just serve to alienate you further. Our kids are often a lot more sensible than we give them credit for.

You've done as much as you can. Now you just have to let go of his hand and let him find his own way, but let him know, too, that you're there to help him when he gets lost.

[jmck66]

Thanks so much for your reply saxy_jag. That was just what I wanted to hear. I didn't think I could do any more than I have already. But I think I needed a little reassurance. I feel so much better now. I'll let him go - and sow !!!

[horsestache1]

My 15 year old daughter, is not considering having sex, has never had a boyfriend, and does not want one until I consider she is old enough.


Who am i kidding, I hate having teenagers too, its hard, as we all want the best for our kids, but unfortunatly we can't live their lives no matter how much we would like to.

[naz_nomad]

The legal age of consent for sex between a man and a woman in England, Scotland and Wales is 16.

Why isn't his girlfriend being charged with statutory rape?

[IggyB]

because bring a case forward is at the discretion of the police and the crown prosecution service � the CPS must decide if it is in the public interest to pursue a conviction - and here it obviously isn't, otherwise we would have hundreds of 16 years olds in prison for sleeping with their partners who could be a month or so younger
(we have no such concept of statutory rape in the uk - it is an american concept)

[naz_nomad]

ok ... thanks for that

[Tim123]

jmck66, it sounds as though you have brought up a sensible mature 15 year old, but you are still deeply concerned for his wellbeing. You should be giving advice, not asking for it.

[Creamer20]

dont hate the player....

sorry kinda insensitive....

cut it off!!!

x

[atolhurst]

Being an MM (modern mum), have you considered mentioning the pill to your son?

Perhaps get a leaflet from your GP, or some web page print outs about the pill, contraceptive injection etc, and pass them to him (or even her) as you're on your way out. Bit embarrassing to stand around insisting he/she reads them there and then, but at least they'll be aware of the other contraceptive options - of course, whether they ever act on them is completely their call.

[saxy_jag]

If you's wanna send your teens to me, feel free, 'cause I love 'em.

[BillyBongOn]

just for side information: there is such an offence as statutory rape, its legal definition according to the Sexual Offences Act [2003] where that anyone under the age of 13 cannot conset to any sexual activity and therefore the actions of the other party are considered to be that of statutory rape, unless some other technicality arose etc etc

[IggyB]

you are correct - but the term statutory rape is not used in the english legal system, it is an american term. for more information regarding the sexual offences act 2003 please see http://www.opsi.gov.uk/ACTS/acts2003/20030042. htm

all the best Iggy