would you pay up if your child accidentally damaged someone's car?

[bubbles4920]

a little girl in our road accidentally went out of control on her bike and scratched a huge whitescratch down the side of my brand new car.her bike didnt have rubber ends on the handlebars. her mother/family are rough and she says she only has 24p in her purse so i can take her to court. if my child were to damage someone elses car i would be highly embarrassed and cough up no problem. am i being too mean about this? i feel that i am morally right, what would you do? luckily the family are hoping to move!

[bulldog21]

It depends how mcu it will cost to fix damage and hiw well you want to get on with your neighbours. You could contact your car insurance company and let them chase the woman. You should not have to pay an excess, because you have identified the person who caused the damage.

Morally you are right but, you need to weigh up cost versus stress.

[noxlumos]

Well perhaps she's telling the truth and she is absolutely brassic? You can't get blood out of a stone and if the woman has no money, she has no money. If you are that skint it will look like this:-
bills will be everywhere, there won't be enough money to pay them so only the very essential things will get paid for like grocery shopping. She'll be in danger of the electric going off etc etc etc and she won't care a damn about your car because she can't pay and she thinks you have plenty of money bc you have a new car.
If she has got the money but just doesn't care that's a different matter.
Whether I paid up or not would depend very much upon the attitude of the person whose car was damaged, accidents happen and if they were pleasant then they'd stand a far better chance of me grovelling an apology and sticking my hand in my pocket but if they had a confrontational attitude then I'd probably say something similar. As you say it was an accident and I think you'd be wasting your time taking them to court so maybe try and judge whether they have ANY money or if they really are as broke as they'd have you believe.I think it's a no win situation for you anyway to be honest.

[Glpblondie]

take em to court! bloody chavs!

[bubbles4920]

the cost was �100 which i have now forked out and i am not working, only hubby at moment. i know its a losing battle cos of her situation but just wanted to know if i did the right thing by asking 'nicely'. sure i would have got a brick through window if i had kicked up a fuss. excess is �200 and dont think i would be able to prove that kid had done it anyway. i am putting it down to experience, keen to know how you would handle something like this. even if i couldnt pay i would offer to split cost over a period of time. i just keep thinking, how would she like it done to her car!!!!??

[Dolly1308]

She's skint but she has a car !!!!!!! and I don't care if it is a banger ,it still takes money to run it . What goes around comes around ,I wish you good luck but I don't think you'll get anything from them.

[bubbles4920]

yes, i think that what goes around comes around. someone said to believe in the laws of Karma. last sunday when we were out, the woman actually was hit by a anther woman across the road, stemming from the woman's kids playing on their apartments car park. i dont believe in physical violence but it didnt need me to do anything back to seek retribution did it! i like this idea of Karma and it helps to take away the idea of revenge particularly when people have crossed me.

[Lore]

Social status shouldn't be an excuse for rudeness!
Ok, maybe she did only have 24p in her purse - I live in an area where I can totally relate to that, but I would expect some sort of apology. She could have at least come to you and explained her situation and made it clear that she would talk to her children about respecting the property of others.

I think the key issue here is the fact that you know in a few days time something else will crop up, I seem to remember a previous post from you regarding this family.

I think you did the right thing.

[boobesque]

sorry but no i wouldnt ask for the money, it was an accident, regardless of what the family are like, or how much money that did or didnt have. Claim on insurance, its what its there for.

[Pippa68]

My son was playing footie outside and managed to damage a car number plate.

The owner came round and asked me to pay for it as it was about to go through it's MOT ~ I would have offered anyway, so went up to Halfords and bought another one. It's a difficult one in your case as the damage was a lot more expensive... a real toughie and can only be gauged by personal circumstances & the childs age, I think.

Nox has raised some fair points.

[janetsflower]

My son rode his bike into someones car a couple of years ago (the car was moving at the time too). My first priorty obviously was that my son was ok and this was also the drivers priority. After that we checked the damage to the guys car and offered to pay without waiting to be asked. As it was my sons fault we felt we had a moral obligation to do so and would expect anyone else to do the same. The woman should at least offer something towards it if she can't afford the whole cost but unfortunately the world isn't full of people with morals

[~Wingnut~]

Couple of years ago we were visting some attraction somewhere and the car park was full but we managed to get the last space. When we came back someone had parked right next to us which wasn't a parking space but had managed to squeeze their car in. You could see we had 2 child car seats in the back so would need to get in the back side doors. My daughter ran straight up and before I could stop her opened her car door and dented the car next to us.
We felt we weren't entirely to blame as they hadn't parked in a designated space and hadn't left us room to get into our own car. Both parties agreed to pay half which we think was fair.
I have to disagree with you slightly there Boob if someone has caused damage why shouldn't they pay? If you damaged something in a shop you would be expected to pay, the shops have insurance too.
I wouldn't be happy if someone accidently damaged something of mine then wouldn't pay to fix it. Why should my premiums go up?

[luckyeight]

I think you have behaved entirely appropriately - she is responsible for her daugher and thus the damage. But I also think you did the sensible thing - you asked nicely and then realised you weren't going to get anywhere so coughed up yourself. I must say, I'd be tempted to hack a key down the side of her car though! Two wrongs don't make a right, but you'd be justified. Fair play to you, anyway. You're not being mean , the '24p queen' is. Exactly - she can't be that skint if she's got car herself, sorry.

[bubbles4920]

yes it would be good to get revenge but as i said the laws of Karma sorted that one out last weekend! Boobesque, like others have said, how would you feel if it happened to you, touch wood it doesnt. its not a nice feeling knowing that you have to cough up for someones fault. the 24p queen, love that!, had a fag in her hand at the time so sure she was blagging of course. as mentioned, we dont all have morals nor a conscience. glad i do though!!