my 10 year old boy

[danaholland]

my 10 year old boy gets very very upset and panics if i go out into the garden or around the house with out telling him /and if he does'nt get a reply quickly he sobs ,he has had no problems as a child happy married enviroment ,please help

[Morticiah]

Hi Danaholland, How long has this been going on? is it a very recent thing?

Mort

[libby1980]

I think I can remember being a bit similar when I was this age. He is probably feeling a bit insecure - is he about to change schools maybe? I would think he just needs some reassurance and for you to help him find things he is interested in that he enjoys alone, like going on internet, reading, watching a film etc. Just give him a big hug and let him know that you will always be there for him, even if you are not physically next to him! I am sure you do this already, he might just be a bit wobby for some reason at the moment.

[Catso]

How does he manage with school, then, when you aren't there? Does he cry all day at school?

[danaholland]

he does'nt cry at school. just goes through fazes of over clingy and saying sorry , he is a very sweet boy but just want him to back off hope he will grow out of it ,He has been like this for acouple of years.

[Catso]

I think you've left this behaviour rather a long time before addressing it; it will be quite well ingrained by now.

The fact he copes well with school is a good thing. I'd agree with libby, make sure you do the hugging and 'being there', but I think as well as this you've got to try to 'wean him off you' a bit. Don't respond to his demands instantly, let him wait, and then over time let the waits increase. make a point of leaving him, on occasions, but do plenty of loving when you return.

Will he be changing schools at 11? That could completely transform him.

[danaholland]

just want to say he has addressed some of his concerns and tells me he is afraid of us dieing ,I hope to get to the bottom of this but I can't tell him I will not die and can not promise to return home when I do go out thanks Dana.