going out to play?

[yinyang]

Hello. I just wanted to get opinions from other parents on what age they let their children out to play on their own. Round here ( and it's not a 'bad' area ) about nursery age i.e 3 - 4 seems to be common. My two are four and a half and pretty young for their age - still definitely little girls and not very streetwise - and the thought of them roaming the streets fills me with dread. There's a boy, probably a bit younger than them, who keeps coming round and I just keep making up excuses!
So, am I just being a completely over-paranoid mum (probably) or do others agree that this is a little young to not know where your kids are?

[naz_nomad]

Playing out on their own at 3 & 4 years ... I assume you don't have such a thing as Social Services where you live ...

[tiggeralix]

I would never allow any kids of mine to be allowed to play out on their own at that age, its not being over-paranoid
in todays day there is so much violence and things that happen to kids so stick to your guns andfollow your instincts on keeping them in - they will understand your reasons behind it when they are older

[yinyang]

Thing is, naz. It's not the type of parents that you would normally associate with this kind of thing. These are people I know take a real interest in what their kids eat, watch and are actively involved in playgroup/ nursery and what the kids are doing. They just think it's ok to let the liitl'uns out to play! That's why I was starting to wonder if it was me that had the problem.

[naz_nomad]

definitely not you with the problem ... I agree it's possible to be over cautious, but playing out a 3 & 4 amounts to neglect in my opinion (unbiased as it is, I don't have kids, but shudder at the though of what could happen to them).

[whitbybabe]

My son is 12 and if he goes out I do not let him out of the street,he plays footie right outside the house where I can keep an eye on him.Over protective maybe,but I have kept him safe.I also know where he is at night,either in his bedroom or downstairs with us,not roaming the streets like some of them round here.Playing out at three or four ??Wake up ying yang.,it takes a second for a child to be snatched.

[loulou32]

Here, here!!!!!! Well said. Ithought it was just me being over protective with my kids, my son is 12 and my daughter is 9, I know exactly where they both are at all times. My son also plays outside but is not and does not venture out of the street and he knows that I am keeping an eye on him. I was distraught when he went to Senior school as he has to get public transport, granted he does travel with his cousin who is the same age and an older cousin who is 14l, still doesnt stop me from worrying. As far as evenings go they are both in the house doing their own thing in there rooms or watching tv with us, or out with us. I often pop to the local shop on an evening and see many of his classmates hanging around the off licence and the local library smoking and getting up too no good, it makes me shudder!! Wrapped in cotton wool maybe, but I have kept them safe for all there life and I intend to do so for as long as possible!

[whitbybabe]

I only wish other parents had our views loulou32 !!

[~Wingnut~]

Same here, my eldest daughter is 8 and the youngest 3. Neither are allowed to play out of the garden or even set foot out of the garden on their own. I like to think my eldest is fairly streetwise by the things I have taught her but it isn't her I don't trust to do the right thing. Same as you lou, there is enough stuff here in her home to keep her entertained and no need for her to have to trawel the streets with her friends. I know exactly where my 2 are every second of everyday and if that makes me over protective then so be it, rather that than her getting up to god knows what.
I think a lot of parents (I know round here they do) send their kids out just to get them out from under their feet. A friend who lives near said she used to come back from work on a night at gone 10pm and see 2 little children out on the street playing, she knew the mother and knew these 2 children were only 2 & 3 yrs old!!!! How the hell can children of that age be out on the streets at that time of night!!!! Beggers belief!

[kovac]

I've just reversed my car out of my friends drive way and almost mowed down a child on his bike (circa 3/4yrs old)

I don't have kids myself - but I feel strongly that it is not appropriate to be letting children out on the streets. No matter how many other kids are supervising the little ones, accidents happen!!....particularly on housing estates.

I don't even like my cats going out to play without being supervised.....you might think I'm sad, but common sense prevails. Kids go missing, kids get knocked over...and your girls are babies!!!!!!!

I'm 27 now, but my parents were always extremely protective of me (only child syndrome)...and I'm glad.....and don't worry, I'm suitably socialised and unscathed by my protective upbringing. Dani

[Le Chat]

My eldest is 10 and I would not consider letting him roam about on his own! The other day, his school friend arrived at our house, having cycled half a mile (with no helmet) and wanted my son to cycle into town with him!! No way!! This boy's parents had let him loose and just told him to be back 'by 1pm!' Apart from the fact that this boy cannot tell the time, I just know that nothing will ever happen to him on his many unsupervised jaunts around town ... but the minute I let my son out, he would be knocked down by a car or abducted or something!
Please do not feel embarrased to say no. I'd rather feel like an over protective mother than have a missing child.

[maviscoull]

when mine were four and a half, they only got to play in the back or front garden ! my youngest is almost 14 and my eldest almost 18 but believe it or not, i still need to know where they are and who they are with. 14 year old in by 9-00pm on dark nights and 10-15 to 10-30pm on summer nights. i would never ever forgive myself if anything happened to my kids and yes i do worry about them but now i need to start giving them a longer leash....and in this day and age it is a very hard thing to do.

[yinyang]

whitbybabe, lou lou - did you read the question properly? I have no intention of letting my children out to play. I think it's appalling. I'm even always in the garden with them when they play outside just in case they should take it into their head to wander of or someone grabs them. Unfortunately, I am not responsible for what other people decide to let their children.
I merely wanted to find out if I was in the minority with this view or if other people agreed that this was far too young. Please do not have a go at me when If you look closely I actually hold the same viewpoint as you.

[beejaybee]

I could be wrong, but I thought there was a law about it. Kids under 5 were not allowed outside their own front gate alone.

[Hellion]

Hi YinYang - my son is 8 we live in a close and I have just recently let him play directly outside the house (it's a tiny close of 6 houses) a little girl in his class has recently moved in opposite and they are both desperate for a bit of freedom. However I or his friends mother discreetly watch them ALL the time. We did let them walk to the end of the close with Archie a very sensible golden retreiver the other day but I have to say I'm not comfortable with it at all - but he is an only child and I'm very aware that I am sometimes deemed over protective because of it.
With your two I'd absolutely never let them play in the street so I totally agree with you.

[Katie~77]

My children will definitely not be playing out in the street, at all, ever!!! If they want to go out, they can go into the garden.x

[treacle-tart]

I didn't let my first out of the house on her own until she was about 8, even though there were kids as young as 3 and 4 playing on their own in the local park.

In fairness to their parents we do live in a small village and its very quiet.

We then came to the conclusion that 8 was too old because she certainly lacked any "street smarts" so we let the younger one (who was aged 6) go with her.

They are now 14 and 12 and we have, and are, with all the others using 6 as a guideline (the others are 9,7,4 and 2), subject to their own social development.

I know this is no help whatsoever but I have to say that I am in a constant state of panic when any of them are out on their own! I just can't relax!

Bekki

[luckyeight]

Happen to agree with you that the age you mention is way too young to let kids out unsupervised.... Also just wondered how things were goin with your cats and the flap!? Have they got the hang of it yet?

[JB]

Katie 77 - I just want to thank you!!!!! I live in a small close, in a really nice area - unfortunately, the parents prefer their children to play outside my front window, rather than mess their perfect gardens up - it drives me mad! The favourite game seems to be 'smash the street light with the football'!
I'm not old (thirtysomething!) but it drives me mad that their parents are happy for them to run wild and drive normal people to the brink of insanity - when I was growing up, we too played in the confines of our own gardens unless one (or both) of our parents took us (and usually a multitude of friends) to the local park. Is this no longer the done thing?

[yinyang]

Thanks for the answers everyone.
I'm glad to know I'm not alone in being horrified by this. I'll keep on making excuses until the girls are a LOT older - I think about 25 would be the right age, according to their dad!.
Luckyeight , how nice that you remembered about the cats! They've totally got the hang of it, thanks, altough Yin still always looks around in surprise when he ends up in the kitchen.LOL

[loulou32]

In no way was I having a go at you, just putting my opinion across. Each to their own as far as Im concerned, you did ask if others agree that this is a little young for kids to be playing out, I think it is!!!!!