ChatterBank2 mins ago
Won't pay the rent
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My partner has a son who is living in a house belonging to us and he is supposed to be paying us a reasonable rent which is not as much as we would be getting if we rented it to anyone else but is just enough to cover the mortgage we have to pay on it every month. Everything was going very smoothly til about 6 months ago when he stopped paying and started making excuses about not being able to afford it. He is in full time work and has no dependants so all his money is his own to spend so he doesn't really have an excuse. We are still making the mortgage payments but this is becoming increasingly difficult. There is no tenancy agreement in place as it was an informal family arrangement. Does anybody know a) where we stand legally about evicting him and b) how do we go about this bearing in mind its my husbands son and we would like to salvage a relationshio with him still at he end of this
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Hi there.
My suggestion would be, either get him to sign a short term tenancy agreement now-- therefore agreeing to pay the rent on an ongoing basis ( think you wil just have to swallow the fact that you have lost money up to now though). This might set the scene for a future relationship which is amicable.
alternatively, if you are going down the throwing out route - please ring your local citizens advice bureau , who will outline the steps you could take.
If this is the route you do take obviously it may damage your relationship for a while, however when he devleops a more mature brain, I would think he will come round.
Whatever way you look at it, it would be best if you can get your husband to take issue with him, as he is his son, and would be better coming from him
Best of luck
My suggestion would be, either get him to sign a short term tenancy agreement now-- therefore agreeing to pay the rent on an ongoing basis ( think you wil just have to swallow the fact that you have lost money up to now though). This might set the scene for a future relationship which is amicable.
alternatively, if you are going down the throwing out route - please ring your local citizens advice bureau , who will outline the steps you could take.
If this is the route you do take obviously it may damage your relationship for a while, however when he devleops a more mature brain, I would think he will come round.
Whatever way you look at it, it would be best if you can get your husband to take issue with him, as he is his son, and would be better coming from him
Best of luck
I tried that saying we would write off what he already owes but he needs to start paying now, his answer is "why should I, you pair have got plenty of money" - it might look like that from the outside but we also have mortgages etc to pay so we can't afford to pay his and anyway even if we could why should we, if we had that much money spare every month then my husband wouldn't have to work the hours he does. He is being totally unreasonable. My husband had a discussion with him a couple of months ago and I know he doesn't want to fall out which is why its now left to me to deal with. I will go to the CAB and see what they advise and i agree that maybe he will see our point of view when he is more mature but in the meantime i am just going to have to play wicked step mother I think and to be honest i don't care if he falls out with me so long as my husband doesn't get hurt
As I said in the other Q, my step-daughter leaving home for uni was the best thing that happened to her. It brought home to her all the things she just took for granted at home were luxuries, and someone had to work to provdie them. She's been very different since she returned!
I think it will take radical action to resolve this, but do get your husband 'on side'.
I think it will take radical action to resolve this, but do get your husband 'on side'.
This is a difficult one as your arrangement may have given him right to live there beyond an assurehold tenancy agreement and I can see him signing one if he has been like he has. MY first thought was to say you are going to sell the house and so get him prepared to move out and this will force his hand as to whether he is going to be difficult. Any buyer will need to have vacant posession to buy with confidence. However this may be impractical as you may want to keep the property as a long term investment. You could even move a lodger in to keep him company! Are the bills in his name? Why not cut off the water/power etc if he is not paying you? This is reasonable if you have to pay the mortgage. Im sure he will see your point even if he does not appreciate it. If the house in in your name I am sure you have the right to do this. Just make sure that whatever you do it is done in a way that allows him to negotiate back to paying you as if he is forced out this will be a bone he wont put down.
Two words really. "Tough Love". Sounds cheesey, but we all learn from our mistakes, and this kid is certainly making a big one.
He is taking advantage of yours, and your husbands, good nature and the fact that you guys are not wanting to upset him.
What you need to think about is simple. He is upsetting you. And upsetting you intentionally. It is a conscious effort on his part.
All may not agree with me, but if it were my child, I would give him one last chance. If he still refuses, evict him. Change the locks.
He is taking advantage of yours, and your husbands, good nature and the fact that you guys are not wanting to upset him.
What you need to think about is simple. He is upsetting you. And upsetting you intentionally. It is a conscious effort on his part.
All may not agree with me, but if it were my child, I would give him one last chance. If he still refuses, evict him. Change the locks.
Believe me I would love to have all the utilities disconnected, change the locks and kick him out but I don't think we can do that legally can we? He does know what he is doing and the selfish little so and so doesn't care how he is hurting his dad in doing it. My husband and I are unied on this but its me thats going to be doing the nasty stuff because i know it hurts my husband to do it so i have taken it upon myself to deal with it, although he does consent but doesn't really want to know. I like the lodger idea and there is space for one so i think i will try that tact first. We don't want to sell the house at this point because its not been looked after and needs a bit of tlc to get it back to a fair market value and yes we do consider it a long term investment - our pension in fact. Thanks to you all for your advice and i am glad to know no one thinks i am being unreasonable
Hi janetsflower, I think you'll find that any verbal agreement is now null and void because he hasn't been keeping up his side of it. Do check with the CAB though.
At the end of the day it is not his house and therefore he can be asked to leave at any time. It sounds to me that he will continue to take you both for granted unless you take a harsh stance on this.
Let him learn the hard way that he has a cushy number with the two of you. He'll either love his new found independence or he'll be begging to come back home on your terms. It will also be a good opportunity for you and your partner to have some time to yourselves. After all, you can't have the kids under your roof forever.
At the end of the day it is not his house and therefore he can be asked to leave at any time. It sounds to me that he will continue to take you both for granted unless you take a harsh stance on this.
Let him learn the hard way that he has a cushy number with the two of you. He'll either love his new found independence or he'll be begging to come back home on your terms. It will also be a good opportunity for you and your partner to have some time to yourselves. After all, you can't have the kids under your roof forever.
As far as I can see there is no legal paperwork saying he is renting from you there for it is YOUR house and you can do as you please. I think he is just taking you both for a ride and you need to say either he signs an agreement to the amount you agree for him to pay originally starting from today (or whenever) or I will find someone who is willing to pay to stay here and you will have to find another place to live. Its harsh but straight to the point. At the minute hes sticking both fingers up at you and getting away with it......what will he try to get away with next?!?!?!?!
Dean
Dean